Date: 12-28-99


Date: 12-28-99


Date: 12-11-99


idea

One day in class we were playing letter bingo. I had passed out game chips to each child, knowing I had given each child enough chips. But one of my 3 year olds decided to be funny. During the game he chimed up saying, "Ms. Shelly I don't have any chips left, I only have crackers." This was not humor I would expect from a 3 year old.

Date: 12-2-99


idea  11-27-99

One morning, while playing in the dramatic play area with several of my four year olds, we were discussing fruits and vegetables. One of my girls brought me a plate of plastic vegetables and told me to eat my food. I asked her "Why do I need to eat the beans? Are they good for me?" She looked at me and responded, "Miss Wendy they are good for you. Beans make your bowels move." I have never laughed so hard over a remark from a child.


idea

Walking down the hall one day with my ECE students one little boy held up his hand and asked, "teacher, is this my right hand?" I told him yes it was. He then held up his other hand and said, "Then this is my wrong hand."

Date: 11-21-99


idea

I was potty training a two year old child and it had been a difficult endeavor without much laughter or success. It was a long week and my co-teacher and I were pleasantly surprised when we heard the squeals of joy coming from the bathroom and the announcement that one of the boys in our classroom had successfully "made water". We chuckled and returned to our routines when the same boy came out of the bathroom with his pants down around his ankles. He had one single square piece of toilet tissue pressed to the very end of his penis and with is hips swinging back and forth proudly declared "Look, a flag!" My co-teacher and I laughed for hours.

Date: 11-13-99


 Contact_FullName:

idea

Athena just turned 4 years old. She had been very sick, so we had stayed home for several days. When she began to feel better she came to me with a mental list of all the stores she wanted to go shopping in. I told her, "Sweetie we can't go to all those stores because I'm broke". Without missing a beat she says, "No mom. You're together. Look, no pieces". And off she went to get my purse and our jackets.

Date: 11-6-99


idea

I have a little boy in my preschool class named "Rowdy". We had been working on using our manners for some time when he became restless. I was quick to say, "Are you using your manners..." His response was..."I Rowdy, not manners." I laughed for days--he really does live up to his name.

Date: 11-6-99


idea

The toilet flushes very loudly in my class restroom, and many of my kids bolt out of the room after flushing. I try to time it so I can flush for some of the more "sensitive" ones. Too late, one day, I saw Joe with both hands over his ears, flushing with his elbows!

Date: 10-31-99

idea

One day I was talking to my kids in my preschool-3 room about what they wanted to be. Somehow they got onto the topic of cats, and the one little boy Christoper told me, "I can't have a cat, cuz I've got a landlord!" His mom I found out later had been trying to explain for weeks that their landlord wouldn't let them have cats!!!!

Date: 10-31-99


idea

I am a home child care provider and each day we walk to the local playground. One day, just after we arrived at the playground, my recently potty trained son Dustin announced that he had to "poopie." When I asked him if he could hold it until we got home, he exclaimed "No mommy, my hands will get dirty!!!"

One day I was changing a particularly stinky diaper and I muttered to myself "holy cow". Samantha, the little girl I was changing replied, "moo".

Date: 10-31-99


idea

One day during free choice one of my four year old boys said to me," Nanette, I like cows." I asked him, "What do you like about cows?" He replied, "They moo." I said, "I bet you like the fact that you can get ice-cream from a cow too." He looked at me rather puzzled and replied, " No sir, we get our ice-cream from the Schwans guy!" (A grocery delivery service in our area.)

Date: 10-21-99


idea

The room in which I teach has a leaky roof so when it rains in we place buckets and plastic all over that area. The first day it happened the kids thought it was wonderful and we measured how far the water went up in the buckets and talked about why it was raining in, etc. One little boy was so intrigued by this whole set of events that he spent most of his work time standing by the area just watching it rain in. A few days later when the buckets and plastic were gone even though it was another rainy day, I announced to the class that we wouldn't be going out to play because of the rain. The little boy who had been intrigued the other day with the rain looked over at that part of the room, looked up at the ceiling then told me that it wasn't raining so we could go out. He was convinced since it wasn't raining in the room it couldn't be raining outside. We laughed for days just thinking about the whole incident.

Date: 10-14-99


idea

I teach preschool on Long Island, New York. One day, while having a discussion about occupations, a little girl in my class responded to the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" She quickly responded with, "a fire hydrant."

Date: 10-1-99


idea

During circle time in my Pre-K classroom one day we were playing a game of alphabet bingo. When the children guessed the letter right, I asked them a word that started with that letter. When I got to R, one of the boys got very excited and rose his hand. I asked him what word he had that began with R and he replied, "R-R-R-Rum"! It was so cute, I had to leave the room!!


Date: 10-1-99

idea

One morning, my kindergarten students were entering the classroom. While we were getting settled, some of the students were discussing what pizza place they were going to for a friend's birthday party. I began asking individual students what their favorite kind of pizza was. When I got to Eric, he thought for a moment and then replied "The triangle kind!"

Date: 9-29-99


idea

At the end of the day we take out our post office to write. A child was writing his name and wrote the word MAMA. He came over and said," See, I wrote my mothers nickname!"


idea

My 4 year old daughter has declared herself the bathroom monitor. When we go grocery shopping she helps put away the toiletries. Recently she forgot to alert me to the fact that we were running low on toilet paper. When the other day she used that last of it she proclaimed to her father that "we have a tragic shortage of toilet paper".

Date Posted: 9-23-99


idea

I teach pre-k, and last week one of my 4 year old boys said he was going to the dentist. He said that he hoped the dentist would pull one of his teeth. When I asked him why, he said, "So I can put it under my pillow for the dairy tooth queen!"

Date: 9-15-99


idea

One of the little boys informed that when it snowed out a dog decided to go pee in his yard and the next thing he knew his grass was yellow, he figured it was a miracle from God.

Date: 9-9-99


Date: 8-19-99

When reading the story There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly, one of my three year olds said "She can't swallow a bird, she'll choke!"


Date: 7-27-99

I'm a home daycare provider. One day last summer I decided it would be fun for the kids to watch me cook a pan of Jiffy Pop on the stove. I asked the kids what they thought was inside as I started shaking it. As the foil top arose and got bigger one 5 year old little girl looked at my with wide eyes and said "Becky, IT'S A MIRACLE!!!"

area

Pre-K Humor


Date: 7-27-99

I have provided child care for my nephew since he was 6 weeks old. My brother (the child's dad) likes to hunt and has taught his children about hunting since they were very small. I, on the other hand, just enjoy seeing wildlife out in the forest and would prefer that they be left alone to wander free in the woods. My brother and I rib each other all the time about our opposing views. I had just completed a wildlife theme with the kids and I had thought that I had instilled some of my views on my two year old nephew. To my disappointment, I learned that wasn't true. He was helping me open Christmas cards and he looked at one particular one that had Santa with a reindeer. He loudly proclaimed, "There's Santa! He shot a deer!!!!"



Daylene
daylene@perpetualpreschool.com
7-12-99

My friend likes to read his two young sons fairy tales at night. Having a deep-rooted sense of humor, he often ad-libs parts of the stories for fun. One day his youngest son was sitting in his first grade class as the teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home. She said "...And so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of straw and said "Pardon me sir, but might I have some of that straw to build my house with?"

Then the teacher asked the class "And what do you think that man said?" and my friend's son raised his hand and said "I know! I know! He said "Jumpin’ Jehosaphats!! A talking pig!'"

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

 


Name:

Date: 5-25-99

One day, in my pre-k class, while we were busy working on one of our class projects, we were enjoying each others conversation. James was busy telling us about one of his many adventures. Josey piped up and said, "yah, well you don't know squat about that!" James, being the intuitive that he is, said, "yes, I've seen it and I know it!" Chris, joining the conversation, added, "Well, I've seen squat too, and you definitely don't know it!" What wonderful kids!!!


Date: 5-25-99

I am a day care provider in the 3-4 year old room of our day care and my son, Ben (soon to be five) attends class the the 4-5 year old room. His teacher came to me one day to tell me what had happened during game time.

The class was playing Duck, Duck, Goose. The child who was "IT" was walking around the circle and Ben excited raised his hand and yelled, "I haven't been picked yet. Goose Me. Goose Me!!!!!!


Date: 5-25-99

One day in class I was being my silly self and teasing my students (ages 4-5). When I noticed a Jordan watching me. I looked at her and said "I know I am very silly, huh?" She replied, "Yes Sara, but I still love you".


Date: 5-25-99

I am the computer lab supervisor for the elementary school. One of the programs we use for kindergarten is a dot-to-dot alphabet. One day a kindergarten child was studing the puzzle very hard as I noticed this I walked over to see if I could help. She was working on a puzzle that would be a mailbox when she finished. I asked her what was wrong and she said she could not find the minnow. I explained that there was no fish in her puzzle and she said yes there was. I once again tried to explain that there was not a minnow. She told me in no uncertain terms that there was and proceeded to point the the letters saying the abc's when she got to the letter k she proceeded with a l-minnow. I thought I would collapse right there and had to leave her sight. Anyone who has heard a pre-schooler sing the alphabet song will notice how the letters can get slurred when the child reaches the letters m and n.


Date: 5-25-99

One of the little girls in my class arrived at preschool with a HUGE black eye, I said "Oh my gosh Kelsey, what happened to your eye?" and she turns to me and replies caually, "Oh, I was playing at McDonalds and a big kid kicked me in the balls." !!!!*LOL*!!!! (she was playing in the ball pit and got kicked).


Date: 5-25-99

On my first day teaching at a new preschool, the children were curious to know all about me, they of course wanted to know if I lived with my mother and father, and why I didn't. I told them that I grew up and got married and live in my own house now. So they asked me why I got married. I thought that was a very good question so at group time I asked the children, "Why do you think people get married?" and wrote down their responses.....here are a few

"So they have someone to talk to when they drive in their cars" "Because they like to kiss" "Because the man is a prince" "Because they love each other" "Because they want to have children" "So they have someone to cook their dinner" "So they can have their own room"

and my personal favorite~

"I don't know why people get married, but MY mom married my dad because he says yes to EVERYTHING!"


Date: 5-25-99

I am not sure what we were talking about, but my little Abbey, came up and said Ms. Shelby, my mommy's, mommy has a first name too! I said she does, what is it? Abbey said it's Grandma!! I just love it.


Date: 5-25-99

I got a job, fresh out of college, teaching Prekindergarten at the age of 22. I was still living at home and would from time to time make references about going home to see my mommy. One day, a little boy looked up at me with a puzzled look on his face and said, "Old as you is, you got a momma." smile!!!


Date: 5-25-99

Last year I had a little boy named Steven in my class. White blond hair, big blue eyes and very expressive. We were having news time in circle one day when Steven declared his undying love for a little girl named Ashley and stated he was going to marry her when he got big. Well, one of the other children remembered he said her was going to marry someone else (not from out class) on an other occasion and called him on it. He started to stammer and stutter and said I I I mean I'm going to marry her and just have Ashley for my girlfriend. My parent helper and I started to laugh and I said "oh honey, that's every man's dream." We thought it was cute.


Date: 5-25-99

While talking about St. Patrick and his use of shamrocks to explain the trinity we had a wonderful laugh. I had each of the children glue a "pedal" on their shamrock. One each for Father, Son and Holy Ghost. While helping another child, one of my independent children exclaimed, "Mrs. Sheryl! I did it. See I have--Father, Son and FLOYD THE GHOST." What a new twist to explaining the trinity.


Date: 5-25-99

I teach older 3's and younger 4's in a local preschool. One day we were talking about the letter W. I was telling the about the different items that begin with the letter W. I named water, wave, walrus, wink, wall, and many others. As i was saying the names w would stress the sound that W makes several times before i would say the word. Well one of the children caught on very quickly. He told me "Mrs. Stephanie my mom shops at w-w-w-Wal-Mart.....My neighbor teacher heard it and we both cracked up and i told Micah that he was so VERY right!!!


Date: 5-25-99

My older twos and threes class and I were taking a walk and we saw a man working in his yard. One of my students said Hey Mister Hey Mister. Finally he turned around and said yes. My student yells Do you sleep NAKED?!?!?! I quickly took my class and walked away. You could tell the man was embarrassed.


Date: 5-25-99

We have a very witty and smart 4 year old boy at our school. One day he and a friend were busy building a bus with the blocks and wanted chairs for the seats. Since there were only two of them I told them they may each have one chair. Although I said it as "you may each have a chair". The little boy went to take another chair and I said, " You may have a chair...a means 1", and he responded by asking how many is b? :-)


Date: 5-25-99

At the beginning of my first year teaching kindergarten we were all in the lunchroom in line and the kids were all over the place. Well I said boys and girls is this the way you are supposed to stand in line? Please show me what a "line" looks like (keep in mind I have southern accent) one of my little girls gets down on all fours and roars very loudly. I looked at here and said Emily what are you doing? She replied I'm showing you what a "lion" looks like.


Date: 5-25-99

This took place when the Toy Story toys, Buzz Light-year & Woody were quite popular: I had just walked into my classroom of 3's when a little boy sitting by himself in a center shouted out, "Look, Janet, i have a BIG WOODY today"!! now how do you respond to that one:) LOL!


Date: 5-25-99

When I line up my three-year-olds, I always try to suggest something (quiet) to be when we walk to the playground or wherever. Some days I say, "Let's be mice. We have to be very quiet so we don't wake the cat." Several years ago I had a little boy who was fascinated with the movie, "Robo-Cop". Every suggestion I made was met with, "Let's be robo-mice (or robo-kitties or robo-fish). One day near Easter, I said , "Let's be bunnies hopping in the meadow" and was answered with the inevitable "Let's be robo-bunnies!" At that time, I thought Arnold Schwarzenegger starred in that movie, and I suddenly had a very clear vision of him in a pink bunny suit. I laughed so hard I had to turn my class over to an assistant. To this day, whenever I think of Arnold Schwarzenegger, I see him in a pink bunny suit, hopping along in a line of three-year-olds.


Date: 5-25-99

While doing AGS testing, a response from one of the children to the following question: What sparkles at night, is very far away and one of millions? Answer: Tennessee!



Date: 4-18-99

Last year I had a little girl in my 4 year old class named Emily. I asked her if her mommy's belly was getting bigger (she was expecting). Emily replied " no but her boobs are" she then explained that her dad told her so.


Date: 4-18-99

While discussing Christopher Columbus with my group of four and five year olds, I had one little boy raise his hand and with a very concerned and curious look he asked, "So, did Christopher Columbus sail before or after the Titanic?"


Date: 4-18-99

I teach 4 and 5 year olds. As I was leaning over the table one day a child walked by me and said," Boy, April, you sure do have a big bottom!" I said, "Excuse me?" His reply was," It's okay. Teachers are supposed to have big bottoms!"


Date: 4-18-99

Last week, as I was recovering from one of the "viruses" that seem to always go around our Pre-K room, my voice became very hoarse. On Friday morning the children wanted to sing so many Valentine songs that by the time the afternoon class arrived I was reduced to a squeak. One of my precious angels asked me what happened to my voice and my aide quickly informed her that "Mrs. Walker has lost her voice." To my surprise, she quickly rounded up all the other girls and they proceeded to look in all the cupboards of the housekeeping area for my voice!


Date: 4-18-99

After my four year olds and I read a story that dealt with the concept of "half" we talked about what half meant and how that could be used in sharing. A couple of days later the rains had brought us quite a large collection of earthworms on the playground. When two children began arguing over the possession of one particular earthworm I posed the question "I can see you both want to hold the worm. What do you think we can do to solve the problem?" One of my children lit up, and said CUT HIM IN HALF!! Before I could protest the worm was pulled apart, and shared between the two children now each happily holding half a worm. I kept my nausea to a minimum however was proud that they retained the topic! =)All in a days work!


Date: 4-18-99

As we all know, three and four year olds are full of stories, which requires a tremendous amount of enthusiasm on my part to listen and respond to. I usually respond to their stories with such sayings as "Oh,Really?" or "Jeepers!" Well, one morning one of the little boys in my class told me a meaningless story, to which I responded, "Holy Toledo!" He then turned to me with a puzzled look on his face and said, "Who's Toledo?" I never laughed harder.


Date: 4-18-99

I am a day care provider in the 3-4 year old room of our day care and my son, Ben (soon to be five) attends class the the 4-5 year old room. His teacher came to me one day to tell me what had happened during game time.

The class was playing Duck, Duck, Goose. The child who was "IT" was walking around the circle and Ben excited raised his hand and yelled, "I haven't been picked yet. Goose Me. Goose Me!!!!!!


Date: 4-18-99

One day in class I was being my silly self and teasing my students (ages 4-5). When I noticed a Jordan watching me. I looked at her and said "I know I am very silly, huh?" She replied, "Yes Sara, but I still love you".


Date: 4-18-99

I am the computer lab supervisor for the elementary school. One of the programs we use for kindergarten is a dot-to-dot alphabet. One day a kindergarten child was studing the puzzle very hard as I noticed this I walked over to see if I could help. She was working on a puzzle that would be a mailbox when she finished. I asked her what was wrong and she said she could not find the minnow. I explained that there was no fish in her puzzle and she said yes there was. I once again tried to explain that there was not a minnow. She told me in no uncertain terms that there was and proceeded to point the the letters saying the abc's when she got to the letter k she proceeded with a l-minnow. I thought I would collapse right there and had to leave her sight. Anyone who has heard a pre-schooler sing the alphabet song will notice how the letters can get slurred when the child reaches the letters m and n.


Date: 4-18-99

One of the little girls in my class arrived at preschool with a HUGE black eye, I said "Oh my gosh Kelsey, what happened to your eye?" and she turns to me and replies caually, "Oh, I was playing at McDonalds and a big kid kicked me in the balls." !!!!*LOL*!!!! (she was playing in the ball pit and got kicked).


Date: 4-18-99

On my first day teaching at a new preschool, the children were curious to know all about me, they of course wanted to know if I lived with my mother and father, and why I didn't. I told them that I grew up and got married and live in my own house now. So they asked me why I got married. I thought that was a very good question so at group time I asked the children, "Why do you think people get married?" and wrote down their responses.....here are a few

"So they have someone to talk to when they drive in their cars" "Because they like to kiss" "Because the man is a prince" "Because they love each other" "Because they want to have children" "So they have someone to cook their dinner" "So they can have their own room"

and my personal favorite~

"I don't know why people get married, but MY mom married my dad because he says yes to EVERYTHING!"


Date: 3-14-99

This morning, in the pre-k class, Michael was really bothered by something in his eye. He said he thought he had an "eyebrow" in it. I asked him if he meant an "eyelash", he said yeah. When I pulled him close to look into his eye, we looked up, down and side to side. I told him I didn't see anything in there and he sat back down and told me it was hiding in there. You gotta laugh.


Date: 3-14-99

Last year around Presidents Day I was talking to my 4 yr. old class about George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. The next day I asked the children if they could remember the presidents names, a little boy yelled," GEORGE LINKAHAM"


Date: 3-14-99

While at Circle Time, we were reading a book to the children. The name of the book was "Froggy's First Kiss". All of a sudden in the middle of the story one of the little boys spoke up and said "I had my first kiss with Julie!" (Julie is one of the other kids in our preschool) And Julie turned to the rest of the class and whispered... "Cuz we were in LOVE!" It was the cutest thing i've ever seen while i've been at this preschool!


Date: 3-14-99

My class of three year olds love to sing the song "1,2,3,4,5, Once I caught a fish alive.." song. And every time, without fail, the children ask me at the end, "This finger, Miss Patty?" and most have figured out that it's the pinky finger and will hold it up. Then one day one of the boys, Tyler, asked the same question, "Is this the finger?". But instead of his pinky, he was holding up his middle finger! My assistant and I tried very hard to suppress are laughter while I explained that no, that was most definitely NOT the right finger. Now I think of that every time we sing the song and still get a kick out of it.


Date: 3-14-99

I have a class of 3 1/2 to 4 years, most of the children in my are able to write, or trace. But, recently a boy came into my class who just scribbles. Most of my children complain or tease about his scribbling, but I have one boy, that found nothing wrong with Erik's scrabbling. One day this boy said to the class," It's ok that he scribbles, when I was little I used to scribble too. But, now that I'm bigger I don't." (These boys are both 3)


Date: 3-14-99

For my son's 5th birthday, I asked him, "What kind of cake would you like this year, Jake?". Jake's response, "A German Shepherd cake".What he meant was a German Chocolate cake!


Date: 2-3-99

This morning, in the pre-k class, Michael was really bothered by something in his eye. He said he thought he had an "eyebrow" in it. I asked him if he meant an "eyelash", he said yeah. When I pulled him close to look into his eye, we looked up, down and side to side. I told him I didn't see anything in there and he sat back down and told me it was hiding in there. You gotta laugh.


Date: 2-3-99

Last year around Presidents Day I was talking to my 4 yr. old class about George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. The next day I asked the children if they could remember the presidents names, a little boy yelled,"GEORGE LINKAHAM"


Date: 2-3-99

While at Circle Time, we were reading a book to the children. The name of the book was "Froggy's First Kiss". All of a sudden in the middle of the story one of the little boys spoke up and said "I had my first kiss with Julie!" (Julie is one of the other kids in our preschool) And Julie turned to the rest of the class and whispered... "Cuz we were in LOVE!" It was the cutest thing I've ever seen while I've been at this preschool!


Date: 2-3-99

My class of three year olds love to sing the song "1,2,3,4,5, Once I caught a fish alive.." song. And every time, without fail, the children ask me at the end, "This finger, Miss Patty?" and most have figured out that it's the pinky finger and will hold it up. Then one day one of the boys, Tyler, asked the same question, "Is this the finger?". But instead of his pinky, he was holding up his middle finger! My assistant and I tried very hard to suppress are laughter while I explained that no, that was most definitely NOT the right finger. Now I think of that every time we sing the song and still get a kick out of it.


Date: 2-3-99

I have a class of 3 1/2 to 4 years, most of the children in my are able to write, or trace. But, recently a boy came into my class who just scribbles. Most of my children complain or tease about his scribbling, but I have one boy, that found nothing wrong with Erik's scrabbling. One day this boy said to the class," It's ok that he scribbles, when I was little I used to scribble too. But, now that I'm bigger I don't." (These boys are both 3)


Date: 2-3-99

Last year I had a little girl in my 4 year old class named Emily. I asked her if her mommy's belly was getting bigger (she was expecting). Emily replied " no but her boobs are" she then explained that her dad told her so.


Date: 2-3-99

For my son's 5th birthday, I asked him, "What kind of cake would you like this year, Jake?". Jake's response, "A German Shepherd


Barbie Turns 40!

2-3-99

Submitted by Daylene

This was sent to me several days ago and I got a real giggle out of it, especially since I turned 34 this week!   :)

Barbie will turn 40 in 1999. Hard to believe, isn't it! She began life in 1959 as a glamorous airline stewardess, soared into space as an astronaut in 1974, and ran for president in 1992. In 1997, bearing disability courageously, she folded her first-ever bending legs into a wheelchair to become the role model for a newly identified market. In each appearance, in every nationality and skin tone, she is always perfectly groomed, entrancingly attired. She is the ideal. So as our Barbie turns 40,
explore some possibilities for Mattel to think of to meet her new challenges.

Bifocals Barbie
Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames, too)! neck chain, and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.

Hot Flash Barbie
Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead! With handheld fan and tiny tissues.

Facial Hair Barbie
As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow! Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.

Cook's Arms Barbie
Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too: muumuus are back! Cellulite cream and loofah sponge optional.

Bunion Barbie
Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with this pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules. Colors: pink, rose, blush.

No More Wrinkles Barbie
Erase those pesky crow's feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.

Soccer Mom Barbie
All that experience as a cheerleader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. With minivan in robin's egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.

Who knows when Barbie will have outlived her usefulness? From Dream House to Nursing Home, the possibilities and accessories are endless. Can we look forward to a Social Security Barbie who comes dressed in double-knit stretch pants, oversize sweatshirt, athletic shoes, with Barbie-size Depends and Ensure?


Date: 1-20-99

One day for circle time, I had three children stand in the middle of the circle. We had been talking about things that make us alike or different. Two of the children had on short while the third child had on long pants. I asked the class to look closely at the three children and tell me what made two alike and one of them different. After a long time, one little girl yelled out, "I know, I know! Joe and Mary are wearing short-sleeve pants!"


Date: 1-20-99

From the beginning of the year we have stressed SHARING in our three year old class. One day at snack time the kids were swapping left over pits of this and that. I had to introduce GERMS. We all have them and need to keep them to ourselves. Therefore when we are finished with our snack we should throw the left overs away, Not SHARE our GERMS. The doctors daughter in all her golden locks and precious smile quickly yelled, "But Miss Pat! Miss Pat! I left my germs at home!


Date: 1-20-99

I was trying to teach a child in my class how to count three objects as I pointed to them. I told her to count as I pointed. Each time she would get one and two but never three. I counted for her, "One, two, three. We have three blocks." She smiled and nodded. I told her it was her turn. Again, no three. I counted again. "One, two, three. We have three blocks." Again, she smiled and nodded. She counted, "One, two, ..." There was no three. I looked at her and counted "One, two, three. We have three blocks" She smiled, nodded, and replied "And so we do!" and got up and left.


Date: 1-19-99

One of my children had his tonsils out and the children in the class wanted to know, "What are tonsils?" I told them they are these two small round balls in the back of your throat. When they get sore a lot the Dr. has to take them out to make you feel better. One little boy then says, "We have two sets of tonsils." I was a little confused. I asked him what he meant. He said, "We have two sets of tonsils - one in our mouths and one down here." The boy was pointing to his penis. I told him,"No, those are called something different!"


Date: 1-19-99

A boy in the class (Blake) was constantly harassing another boy (Clayton). Blake was always right there beside Clayton playing and talking to him. Clayton was finally getting upset and decided to say to me, "We need to get a new Blake."


Date: 1-19-99

I am an elementary teacher to-be. Helping a pre-k teacher, I was going from table to table introducing myself and helping out the students. I got to the last table a the cutest little boy started talking to me. As the conversation ended he looked at me square in the eye and said "My mom used to be a teacher, then she got a real job." I have never laughed so hard. I asked him why didn't he think teaching was a "real" job, he said all you do is play, color, and read stories. Kids like that make you remember why we are educators. :)


Date: 1-9-99

At Christmas-time, my 3 year old class was discussing Santa Claus and his magic ability to come down chimneys. Ryan obviously had not forgotten his October fire safety lessons, when he explained that "Santa comes down the chimney, then he stops, drops and rolls."


Date: 1-7-99

My son wanted to know when we could go to New York City. He really wanted to see the "Entire State Building!"


Date: 1-2-99

My 5 year old son is in pre-school this year and his step-dad has taken him ice fishing a couple of times this year. Zachary keeps asking when he will build an ice fishing "Shackelton." He can't say shack like we call them in Northern Wisconsin. It just so happens that "Shackelton" is the last name of the teacher's aide in his classroom.


Date: 1-2-99

My son Zach is in pre-school this year and has been told that he has a loud mouth. When the school put on their Christmas program, Zach was told to sing loud. Which he did. The class went up on stage and started singing, Zach sang so loud that the other students stopped singing and he kept right on going. The music teacher that was playing the piano was not sure on who to keep up with so she quit playing. Everyone was laughing so hard, they couldn't believe how loud he could sing. When he was done, everyone clapped and cheered him one. Now I can't go anywhere without some one say "was that your little guy singing so loud? Did you give him a pat on the back for doing so good?" We all were pretty proud of him and his teacher told him that he did a great job and just giggled.


Date: 12-26-98

One of my four year old students announced to me that her mom was going to have a baby. She then added "you know what her name is going to be? ... Mrs. Webb (my name)!


A friend of mine sent me this via e-mail today.  Since my husband is a Southern Baptist Minister, I got a real giggle out of all these letters!!

Daylene


12-15-98

LeRayCamp

I was in the three year old room at work the other night (second-shift) and was speaking with a couple of the children about whether or not we could play the computer for a few more minutes before bedtime. "I don't know if we'll have time to play the computer again, Ms Cassie isn't the greatest at getting pajamas done" One of the little boys (who had been ignoring us) piped up and said, "But, Ms. Cassie, You are the greatest!" Isn't that sweet!

In that same room a few months earlier, I had come in from break. A little boy ran up to me and said, "Ms. Cassie, I Stwessed!" I said, "You're Stressed? What have y'all been doing while I was gone?" " We been in


12-15-98

:::::::::Giggling:::::::::  I threatened my husband I was going to do one of the following if he preaches a boring sermon.  This was sent to me by a girl who used to be in my husband's youth group almost 13 years ago!  Have fun!!!  Daylene

Fun Things To Do During Boring Sermons

Pass a note to the organist asking whether he/she plays requests.

See if a yawn really is contagious.

Slap your neighbor. See if they turn the other cheek. If not, raise your
hand and tell the preacher.

Devise ways of climbing into the balcony without using the stairs.

Listen for your preacher to use a word beginning with 'A' then 'B' and
so on through the alphabet.

Sit in the back row and roll a handful of marbles under the pews ahead
of you. After the service, credit yourself with 10 points for every
marble that made it to the front.

Using church bulletins or visitor cards for raw materials, design, test
and modify a collection of paper airplanes.

Start from the back of the church and try to crawl all the way to the
front, under the pews, without being noticed.

Raise your hand and ask for permission to go to the rest room.

Whip out a hankie and blow your nose. Vary the pressure exerted on your
nostrils and trumpet out a rendition of your favorite hymn.

Chew gum; if the sermon goes on for more than 15 minutes, start blowing
bubbles.

Try to indicate to the minister that his fly is undone.

By unobtrusively drawing your arms up into your sleeves, turn your shirt
around backwards.

Try to raise one eyebrow.

Crack your knuckles.

Twiddle your thumbs.

Twiddle your neighbor's thumbs.

Wiggle your ears so that the people behind you will notice.


Date: 12-6-98

As I welcome the children to school each day, I try to have a short conversation with each one. This particular day, a little boy told me he'd seen something on the news about a lady who had 7 babies. I said, "She had seven babies all at the same time?" He said, "No! One and then one and then one and then one...


Date: 12-6-98

In November we did handprint turkeys and one little boy kept calling it a chicken. Now that it is Christmas time we are using our handprint to make a Christmas tree. When he saw what we were doing, he said , "oh, I get to make another turkey". His mother said he was constantly correcting them when they said something about his turkey, told them it was a chicken. He had a dinosaur on his shirt and kept saying it was a dog. At the end of the day it said it was a dinosaur dog.


area

I guess this should be posted in the poetry/prose area...I noticed another "handprint poem" posted there... The lines I am submitting today are printed on the back of my own handprint plaque made in Dec. of 1965 when I was in kindergarten.




Date: 11-21-98

One morning I was sitting in the block area building houses with my little guys. I was listening to them banter back and forth and every so often I would put my two cents in. I must have said something profoundly interesting to one little guy because he looked up at me and said "Teacher, I have a ring and flowers for you!" I said "Really? Does that mean we're engaged?" He replied "Yep, we're engaged, You're my girlfriend" In turn I replied, "Well what about my husband?" He said "It's okay, he'll understand!" Needless to say, this was one of the brightest highlights of my teaching career~ Gotta love those kids!


Date: 11-19-98

One day one of my 4 year olds came into class with his left shoe on his right foot and his right shoe on his left foot. I said, "Hey Spencer, your shoes are on the wrong feet." After looking down and checking out his shoes, he quickly replied, "No, they're MY feet."


Date: 11-19-98

The other day I was at the grocery store.  They were having a sale on Coke products.  Being the Diet Coke drinker that I am, I decided to stock up and bought 20 two liter bottles.  While I was standing in the check-out line, a little girl who could not have been more than four-years-old looked at me and said "Mommy, that lady has too much soda!  If she drinks all that, she is going to turn into a big Diet Coke monster!"  We all busted up laughing!  The amazing part is that she knew it was Diet Coke!


Date: 11-7-98

One of my little girls in the "potty training" group was called to go sit on the potty by my Assistant. After a couple of minutes, my Assistant heard, "Excuse me, EXCUSE me, EXCUSE ME", "Yes", said the Assistant, "What is it you want to say?" And the little girl answered, "Why am I here?" "Why, to P---P---", said the Assistant. "Oh", said the little girl, and she did. FIRST TIME!


Adam's Suit
Author:  Unknown

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination,
he looked at the old pages as he turned them. Then something
fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it closely. It
was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between
pages.

"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.

"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.

With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered:
"It's Adam's suit!!!!!"


Date: 11-1-98

On Columbus Day we talked about Christopher Columbus with the children. The next week, Christopher, the brother of one of the students in another class was visiting. When a little 3 year old in our class heard one of the other children call him Christopher, he ran his chubby little legs up the hill as fast as he could. When he got to us he was out of breath and very excited. He said "He's here! He's here!" We said "Who's here?" "Christopher! Christopher Columbus is HERE!"


Date: 10-28-98

The other day my "kiddliewinks" were beginning their morning stampede to the playground after circle time.

In their zeal to escape to their natural habitat (hanging upside down from bars like little monkeys) one of them stepped on the hem of a little girl's dress.

When the hem was stepped on it pulled the front buttons (shaped like hearts) a bit too tight and one of them popped off.

The tiny angel, caught in the dust of the stampede, came to me with tears welling in her eyes.

"What happened, Sweetie? You look terribly sad," I said.

Pushing out her quivering lower lip as far as possible she said, "I am, Teacher." She then held out a tiny fist and opened it to show me the shiny red button from her dress. "Oh no!" I said, "What happened?"

With a sigh of complete innocence and youth she said simply, "Teacher, I broke my heart."




10-25-98

Name

Well, one day this week, little 4-year old Michael told me the following: (out of the blue) "I told my mother that I still cannot see and I still don't have any glasses!" I asked why he needed glasses and again he said "I told you I cannot see berry good." I then asked him why he couldn't see very good and he replied "because I have had an ear confection!" I laughed and he looked at me wondering what was so funny. I am writing all this down in a book for Michael's mother at the end of his preschool year.


10-22-98

Name: Teresa
E-Mail: phillips@integrityonline18.com

During Vacation Bible School, we had 65 4 & 5 year olds. To ease identification, we broke them into four groups: Dolphins, Lil' Whales, Starfish, & Angelfish. Each child had a nametag in the shape of their "fish" with their name on it. I was very amused when one beautiful little sweetie came running up to me, in tears, crying, "I, I've lost my nametag. But, But, my name is still Mikayla!"


10-21-98

Name: Amy
E-Mail: ghammer@xmission.com


The other day, a little girl in one of my classes was telling me something she had done. (I don't remember what.) So, I asked her "Are you serious?" She looked at me and said in a puzzled voice, "No, I'm Catholic."


10-15-98

Name: Leslie
E-Mail: girlwonder@rocketmail.com


On the last day of pre-school I explained to the children that when they start school back up in the fall, they would be going to school for the entire day. (Extended Day Kindergarten) One of the little boys in my class looked up at me and very seriously said, "Who the hell signed me up for this?"


10-14-98

Name: Malia
E-Mail: malia_patton@hotmail.com

ALL GOOD THINGS

He was in the first third grade class I taught at Saint Mary's School in Morris, Minn. All 34 of my students were dear to me, but Mark Eklund was one in a million. Very neat in appearance, but had that happy-to-be-alive attitude that made even his occasional mischievousness

THE END


10-6-98

Name: Kellye
E-Mail: kellye@nts-online.net

I have a little 4 year old in my preschool class and he is terrible about always saying "I need to go pee!" Another teacher told him the other day to please say "May I go use the restroom?" Yesterday, the little boy comes up and says, "May I go to that restaurant?" Pretty cute huh? We had to laugh.


10-6-98

Name: Silvyr
E-Mail: silvyr__@hotmail.com

I asked my pre-schoolers if they knew what season it was. When no one responded, I thought to give them a clue. "There are 4 seasons." I intoned. "Winter, Spring, Summer and..." Before I could go on, one little boy jumped to his feet in excitement. "I know!" he exclaimed. "Hunting season!" Can you tell we live in Montana? *smiles warmly*


10-4-98

Name: Pamela
E-Mail: pamela.bell@thegrid.net

My 3 year old niece set her juice box next to my mother on the table. My mom said "Honey, would you like Grandma to watch that for you?". My niece simply replied "No, Grandma I don't think its going to do anything".



9-28-98

Name: Jennifer
E-Mail: Thespis6@aol.com

The other day one of my kids spilled applesauce on his shirt and shorts during lunch, so after lunch he went to get changed. My co-teacher was having problems getting him to put clothes on because he had to borrow clothes from our "Borrow Bin" because she did not have any extra clothes in his cubby. I walked into out coatroom where he was standing naked except for his underwear.I told him that we all needed to wear clothes in the classroom and that I understood how he didn't want to put "borrowed" clothes on, but it wasn't a choice. He replied to me,"Well, I was watching this movie once, George of the Jungle and he didn't wear any clothes except for something that looked like underwear with a butt flap." I quickly covered my mouth, knowing that a big smile had just formed on my face, and that I couldn't let that smile turn into a laugh! I asked him where George lived and he told me the jungle. I then asked him if we lived in the jungle.He, of course, said no and then asked me if the reason that George didn't wear any clothes was because it was warm in the jungle. I said yes- that's exactly right! And he proceeded to get dressed without further question! I thought that it was so cute! =0)


9-27-98

Name: Jackie
E-Mail: ChipNDip@Fiam.net

Working in a preschool, you never know what the children are going to say next! One day at Circle time, the children noticed a broken toy on my chair. The children all said that we had to throw the toy away. One child replied, "no we don't have to throw it away, we can use "SQUASH TAPE" to fix it!


9-2-98

Name: mindi

E-Mail: bjorne@msn.com

We have a playhouse in our classroom. The other day we were pretending that it was the white house, we


8-18-98

Name: Jennifer

E-Mail: JKlessens@aol.com

I am actually a primary school teacher but thought some might enjoy these true stories.  A few years ago my class loved to sing Raffi's "Day-O" song. They just loved the chorus. One day just before going home we had a few minutes to spare so I asked if anyone had a request for a song. In all the seriousness a first grader can muster one little girl raised her hand and said she wanted to sing the "dago" song. I had to gently correct her and tell her the song was called "Day-O", not "dago"! Another time I was chatting with another teacher just before she had to go out on the playground for yard duty. When she announced that she needed to go out for yard duty a first grader who heard this asked me if I also had to go out on "guard" duty. We both laughed about this for days!


7-30-98

Name: Carol

E-Mail: Cann16@aol.com

Most of the neighborhood children around my home know my class has a pet bunny. The other day when I was coming home from school one of the children said "Hi, where is Sleepy"? I told him the bunny was at school. He thought for a minute and then said "At school"? I replied yes. He then looked at me with the biggest brown eyes I have ever seen and said "Oh, are there other rabbits there too"? I could not stop laughing. I needed a good laugh that day too!!!!


7-22-98

Name: Angie

E-Mail: bonthuis@ames.net

A couple of years ago, I taught public school preschool, but because of limited space, my program was housed in a church near the elementary building. One day, I noticed the minister of the church walk by my classroom door. He smiled at me, and waved at Ronnie, a little boy I was working with. Ronnie watched him walk by, and then said to me (with a solemn look on his face), "Teacher, God just waved at me!"


7-20-98

Name: Jeanette

E-Mail: salman@ncc.moc.kw

One early morning I was speaking to a friend in the pre-school playground. I told her I had to go because I had early morning duty. She said she also had duty. As she started to walk away her four year old daughter


7-17-98

Name: Teri

E-Mail: Prektchr1@aol.com

First i want to say how much i love all these poems and prose sent in by others and i finally have one worthy of this site...LOL

A little boy was sitting at the table and drinking a juice when all of a sudden he gave a deep loud


7-17-98

Name: patsy

E-Mail: wowpatse@aol.com

My husband travels quite frequently. My two daughters were discussing what town he was in one afternoon. One daughter said "Tampa", but my youngest daughter corrected her and said "No he's not, he's in his Ami (Miami). She was right, especially if it had been a language (tenses) question!


7-17-98

Name: Lynnet

E-Mail: drburney@freeway.net

4-year old Logan was talking about going fishing. He asked me, "Mrs. Burney, have you ever gone fishing?" "Oh, yes", I replied, "I used to go fishing a lot when I was a little girl." Logan's eyes popped open. "You were a little girl???" "Yes I was - a long time ago!" I told him. With wide-eyed amazement, he asked, "When the dinosaurs lived on the earth???" ;-|


7-17-98

Name: Lynnet

E-Mail: drburney@freeway.net

The other day my youngest daughter was talking with her little friend in the car. They were having a discussion about heaven, and Jesus' second coming. My daughter told her friend, "When Jesus comes back, we're going to get on a cloud with him, and he'll take us up to heaven on the cloud. But be careful when the cloud stops and you step off into heaven. There might be a space between the cloud and the floor, and you sure don't want to fall!!!"



7-4-98

Name: Barb

E-Mail: MiLady956

Two funny preschool happenings.....The other day a 4yr old boy was playing with the magnetic fishing pole when he broke the dowel rod. He hid the pole, but one of his buddies brought it to me and told me what had happened. I told the boys I knew it was an accident, and to please tell me when these things happened so I could try to fix it if possible. The little boy who broke the rod looked at me and said" just let me take it Barb, I gots duct tape at my house".

Another incident... the girls were into having braids in their hair. One of our aids was helping make everyone look like Pippi Longstocking. Two of the girls were done and telling everyone they were twins. When the third little girl's hair was finished they proudly announced they were now "giblets".



6-30-98

Name: Diane

E-Mail: DiHarness@aol.com

This spring, my K class was working on a Science unit "Living Things". We had just finished the A to Z Vegetable Book. I explained that the children may not have heard of several of the vegetables, Z being one of them, but perhaps they had heard of another Z veggie,


6-30-98

Name: Tina

E-Mail: mference@cts.com

During the three year old supervised restroom hour, a little girl named Hunter was washing her


6-30-98

This was taken off the ECENET Listserv :)  Daylene

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher.

The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers!"

"That's right!" shouted the little boy.

Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift.

She held it up, shook it and said. "I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy!"

"That's right!" shouted the little girl.

The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked.

"No," the boy answered.

The teacher touched another drop to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked.

"No," the boy answered.

Finally, the teacher said, "I give up. What is it?"

The boy replied, "A puppy!"


6-24-98

Name: Dawn

E-Mail: morninglight97@hotmail.com

Working with preschoolers in Downtown DC is always interesting. Since we play at a park next to the White House, the children are used to seeing lots of "parades" of cars of diplomats, etc. Today we had the rare opportunity of seeing the President drive by- right by us with Mrs. Clinton. One three year old girl asked me who the lady was. I said that she was the President's wife, and she wanted to know her name. I said Hilary, and she looked puzzled. Then she laughed and said very knowingly that she saw the President on TV with a woman with another name. She said she forgot the "funny name" of the lady, but down the block realized it and shouted out Monica Bibenski. When I repeated it, laughing, she corrected me by saying, "Miss Dawn, her name is Monica VIVENski!!" There's a child who watches the news!!!


6-17-98

Daylene

The "Grown-up" Version Of Row-Row-Row Your Boat

Propel, Propel, Propel Your Vessel

Gently Down The Liquid Solution

Exotic, Exotic, Exotic, Exotic

Life Is But An Illusion



6-16-98

Name: Cindy

E-Mail: heck@caves.net

One day in the latter half of the year, I was taking attendance. When I do this, I always try and think of different things the kids can be involved in...rather than just saying "here". I asked the children to tell me their first and last names. They continued to tell me...then one little boy said.."Mrs. Heck, what is your first name?" Before I could answer, he said, "Wait a minute...(and I could see the wheels a turning) I know...Your first name is... Oh....."Oh Heck" (I happen to have that name on my license plates!!!) here!


6-6-98

Yah, yah, I know :)  This has nothing to do with preschool or teachers.  However, I am sure that many of you who use your computer

Remember when........

A Computer was something on TV from a science fiction show

A window was something you hated to clean

And ram was the cousin of a goat

Meg was the name of your girlfriend

And gig was your band playing one night

Now they all mean different things

And that really mega bytes

An application was for employment

A program was a TV show

A cursor used profanity

A keyboard was a piano

Memory was something that you lost with age

A CD was a bank account

Compress was something you did to the garbage

Not something you did to a file

And if you unzipped anything in public

You'd be in jail for a while

Log on was adding wood to the fire

Hard drive was a long trip on the road

A mouse pad was where a mouse lived

And a backup happened to your commode

Cut you did with a pocket knife

Paste you did with glue

A web was a spider's home

And a virus was the flu

I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper

And the memory in my head

I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash

But when it happens they wish they were dead

5-13-98

Daylene

Ok, ok.......  I know that this has nothing to do with preschool humor, but I got a giggle out of it.  Hope you do too!

Things To Ponder

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.  On my desk I have a work station...

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge it with battery?

I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

How come you never hear about gruntled employees?

If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what, exactly, is a fog horn made out of?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in the bathroom.

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?

If the universe is everything, and scientists say the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?

Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?


5-1-98

Name: Sandra

E-Mail: adams@gibralter.net

One of the little boys in my class told me his grandfather was in heaven. After talking with his mother, I found out that grandpa lives in Florida. For some reason he thinks heaven and Florida are the same place. The boy will be moving to South Carolina this summer and asked his mother if his new house would be closer to heaven.


4-28-98

Name: Donna

E-Mail: dlwig@bellsouth.net

Recently, I told my children that we were going to make corsages for our mothers for part of their Mother's Day gift. "What is a corsage?" asked one child. "I know said another. That is when someone rubs your neck or back! (aka massage)" I thought that this was too good to keep to myself!



4-25-98

Name: Barbara

E-Mail: jh071251

When my niece was about to start school, K-4, I asked her one day what grade she was going to be in. She innocently replied, "I'll be in the 4th cage."!!!


4-25-98

Name: Mary

E-Mail: superkt@webtv.net

After taking my kindergarten class to the farm for a day, we were discussing the room full of rabbits. There had to be at least 20 of all different kinds. The children had put carrots in their cages and petted them. They loved those rabbits. On the accompanying info sheet the farmer had put the question: What's under the rabbit cages ? So I asked the children. There was a LONG pause and I had almost given up hope... I saw them looking at each other. A quiet voice with much conviction piped up, " DUST BUNNIES ! " Every child nodded and cracked up. There followed an animated discussion on dust bunnies. It taught me to always have patience, cause MAGIC happens.


4-22-98

Name: Stacey

E-Mail: lmelling@epix.net

Some of my four year olds were playing on the slide and pretending that they were falling into a volcano. One boy "cried" for help, saying he was falling in the lava. Devon- a girl he was playing with- yelled, "Help! Connor's falling in love!"


4-20-98

Name: becky

E-Mail: moonchild869@hotmail.com

One afternoon I found a box of crayola crayons in the desk drawer called "Multi-cultural crayons". Justin, a naturally curious little boy asked me what they were for. I told him simply "for coloring in different colored skin on the people in your picture." He studied the box for a moment and with the wonderful innocence of a five year old, he looked at me and


4-19-98

Name: Elaine

E-Mail: MissElanie

I was setting the stage at


3-29-98

Name: Tammy                E-Mail: lg55130@navix.net

I recently took a 4 year-old boy to the bathroom (in our building, the bathrooms are far from our room). It was first thing in the morning and he exclaimed, "I forgot my ornament!".

I asked him to repeat what he said. "I forgot my ornament", he replied. "You know, what you put under your armpits!" Of course he meant deodorant, and I told him I thought he'd be okay one day without. :-)


3-26-98

Daylene

When my daughter was 4 years old, our family visited Washington, DC.  After we got off the plane, we caught a taxi to take us to our hotel.  During our drive, the taxi driver began to point out different areas of historical interest.  Suddenly, we came up to a large, gloomy looking building that sort of looked like a gothic castle.  The taxi driver asked us, "What do you think is inside that building?"  My daughter piped up and said "Oooooh, that's where monsters live!!!"  The cab driver had to pull over because he began to laugh so much.  It turns out that the "building where the monsters lived" was the IRS building!



3-17-98

Name: Andrea               E-Mail: smccaig@bouldernews.infi.net

My favorite 5 year old, Madison, caught me having a great time on the swings one day and pulled me aside and said I did a good job of being a kid. I said to her, "Madison, now you tell me why you think I do a good job." She said, "Ms. Andrea, you laugh alot, you like to run and sometimes you fall down. I saw you hit your head once and you cried. You sing a whole lot and boy can you swing high and you're not even afraid to jump off. Sometimes it's okay to be afraid to jump off you know. I just think you already know how to be a kid and I love you." I cried and gave that sweet girl a hug. I have moved on from that school and she's now in Kindergarten but I will never forget her encouragement and I will always try to be kid thanks to Madison.


3-13-98

Just For Fun------Enjoy!!!

Daylene

The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog." uses every letter in the alphabet. (developed by Western Union to test telex/twx communications)

In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

In the 1940s, the FCC assigned television's Channel 1 to mobile Services (two-way radios in taxicabs, for instance) but did not re-number the other channel assignments. That is why your TV set has channels 2 and up, but no channel 1.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.

Hang On Sloopy is the official rock song of Ohio.

Did you know that there are coffee flavored PEZ?

The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the "American Pie." (Thus the name of the Don McLean song.)

When opossums are playing 'possum, they are not "playing." They actually pass out from sheer terror.

The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades - King David, Clubs - Alexander the Great, Hearts Charlemagne, and Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them used to burn their houses down - hence the expression "to get fired."

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

The term "the whole 9 yards" came from WWII fighter pilots in the Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got "the whole 9 yards."

Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.

The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

An ostrich's eye is bigger that it's brain.

The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.

The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

David Prowse was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in Star Wars. He spoke all of Vader's lines, and didn't know that he was going to be dubbed over by James Earl Jones until he saw the screening of the movie.

The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the "General Purpose" vehicle, G.P.

The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.

The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

Cat's urine glows under a

The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.

Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected

If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

No NFL team which plays its home games in a domed stadium has ever won a

The first toilet ever seen on television was on "Leave It To Beaver".

The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League All-Star Game.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."

In Cleveland, Ohio, it's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.

It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs.

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married. (Quaint isn't it!!!!!!!)

There are an average of 178 sesame seeds on a McDonald's Big Mac bun.

The world's termites outweigh the world's humans 10 to 1.

Pound for pound, hamburgers cost more than new cars.

The 3 most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

When Heinz ketchup leaves the bottle, it travels at a rate of 25 miles per year.

It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.

The Bible has been translated into Klingon.

Humans are the only primates that don't have pigment in the palms of their hands.

Ten percent of the Russian government's income comes from the sale of vodka.

Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.

On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.

In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.

Reno, Nevada is west of Los Angeles, California.

Average age of top GM executives in 1994: 49.8 years. Average age of the Rolling Stones: 50.6.

Elephants can't jump. Every other mammal can.

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

Five Jell-O flavors that flopped: celery, coffee, cola, apple, and chocolate.  (GASP)



3-11-98

Name: Teri                     E-Mail: PREKTCHR1@AOL.COM

This happened today...we played the titanic soundtrack at rest time...and if you



3-6-98

Name: Susan                          E-Mail: mpacilio@adelphia.net

I had a teddy bear week at my school where I asked each child to bring in his favorite teddy bear. We did several activities with our bears including singing the "Hokey Pokey." When we got to our "backside" and we sang,"put your bear bottom in, put your bear bottom out...", one of my students said, "Teacher, my mom said that I am not allowed to take my pants off." We all laughed when I explained that we did not mean "bare" bottom!



3-4-98

Name: Sharon                  E-Mail: srfsmf@swbell.net

A few year ago I had a mom call telling me how upset Eric had been when she put him to bed that evening. She asked me what we had talked about in our study of the human body. I told her that we had been exploring a model of the human heart and talked about how blood travels through our body and our heart. She started to laugh and explained that when they were about to say their prayers Eric was very upset because Jesus did not live in his heart any longer like we had learned. It seems that Jesus didn't live there anymore, just blood!



3-4-98

Name: Shannon                       E-Mail: gusamer@voicenet.com

Last week we celebrated Eric Carle and his "bug books." I had been trying all week to teach my children that bugs and insects were synonymous. On Wednesday we painted black bugs in the green grass. Our director walked in and asked the children why tey painted bugs to which one of my little girls replied "Because it's bug infection week." I turned away as I laughed....she was so proud that she remembered the big word.


3-4-98

Name: Susannah                    E-Mail: SMSatASU@aol.com

During February and March we have several tornado drills "just in case"(you never know what Arkansas weather will do!). After our first drill this year, I overheard one of my three-year old students telling her mother about our Tomato drill!


3-1-98

Name: Sally                     E-Mail: Spinny002@aol.com

You haven't lived until you've heard a 4 yr.old sing "HOT BLOODED" In the class next to mine I heard a boy tell his teacher he wanted to sing her that song.He sang it like this "Hot blooded...Chicken of the Sea...I got a fweever of 103"


2-24-98

Name:  Daylene

Ok folks....... I know that this really has nothing to do with early childhood education, but I thought it might bring a smile to your faces :))))

The Obituary of Pop N. Fresh

Veteran

Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Aunt Jemima, Betty Crocker, The Hostess Twinkies and Skippy.

The grave side was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded".

Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes - conned by those who buttered him up. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions.

Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two children and another bun in the oven.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.


2-23-98

Name: Carol                       E-Mail: Cann16@aol

I teach K's but also interact with the other classes. I saw a little girl from the 4's class at the store and she was all giggly telling mom that there is Ms. Carol. All through the store and on the way out to my car (I left the store the same time as they did) I could hear Olivia chanting: "Ms. Carol, Ms. Carol, Ms. Carol I love you." My smile was from ear to ear. No one in the store had to take a second guess at who Ms. Carol was.

The next day at school when she came in I began chanting: "Miss Olivia, Miss Olivia, Miss Olivia I love you."

Now it has become our special daily thing to do.


2-23-98

Name: Diane                 E-Mail: dss@csrlink.net

I read "Clifford, We Love You" by Norman Bridwell to my class. The first line reads, "Clifford was feeling down in the dumps." I asked the children what that means, feeling down in the dumps. One of the children answered. He has diarrhea.


2-19-98

Name: Sue               E-Mail: clew@texasonline.net

Children always seem surprised when they see me somewhere other than at school. I suppose they think that I must live there. However, a little girl surprised me the other day when she asked if I lived with the other pre-school teacher!


2-16-98

Name: Kenda             E-Mail: GraceCh1@aol.com

A few years ago as I was reviewing our Bible Verses with the class, I asked them to say the verse and where the verse was found (it's reference).

The




2-11-98

Name: Amy               E-Mail: amycross@usa.net

I had a special needs child wake up from a nap and say "hey Ms. Amy I have a little buz and A BIG WOODIE"

He was talking about his new toy story toys but it was funny.


2-7-98

Name: Deanna            E-Mail: 34nxkdv@cmuvm.csv.cmich.edu

While playing memory with one of my preschool students, I  noticed that he continously got a "match", and the game had just started. In the meantime, I had left the table for a brief moment. I asked him if he had "peeked" while I was gone. He tried to tell me that he was a good guesser. I jokingly said, "No, I think you peeked"; To which he replied, "It's just a figamentation of your imagination."


2-7-98

Name: Deanna            E-Mail: 34nxkdv@cmuvm.csv.cmich.edu

I was conducting a circle time with my preschoolers, when I asked the children to raise their hands if they had anything they would like to share. A three year old boy raised his hand, and when I called on him, he replied, "Um, um, um, my mommy says that I am a big butt in the pain!"


2-7-98

Name: Kristen        E-Mail: Alyse3474@aol.com

One day a little boy in my


2-2-98

Name:  Casi   E-mail:  KC028@aol.com

Author Unknown

ICE CREAM

Last week I took my children to a restaurant. My six-year-old son asked if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would thank you even more if Mom gets us Ice Cream for dessert. And liberty and justice for all! Amen!" Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for Ice Cream! Why, I never!" Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?" As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table. He winked at my son and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer." "Really?", my son asked. "Cross my heart", then in theatrical whisper he added (indicating to the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), "Too bad she never asks God for Ice Cream. A little Ice Cream is good for the soul sometimes."

Naturally, I bought my kid Ice Cream at the end of the meal. My son stared at his for a moment and then did something I will remember the rest of my life. He picked up his Sundae and without a word walked over and placed it in front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, "Here, this is for you. Ice Cream is good for the soul sometimes and my soul is good already!"



1-28-98

Name: Susannah                 E-Mail: SMSatASU@aol.com

I'm an ECE major at the local University and I work part time in a Learning Center (great experience). One day one of my students (they are 3 year olds) told me I was pretty. Of course I was flattered so I hugged the child and told her she was my "bestest" friend. That caused a little jealously among the other 15 students so know every day when I walk in my room I am greeted by a chorus of 16 little voices telling me that I'm pretty. I now have 16 "bestest" friends under the age of 4!


1-26-98

Name: Lynn                E-Mail: lmraetz@csd.uwm.edu

While I was leading Music & Movement, one of my students came up to me and said his eye hurt. I took him to the side of our circle, looked at his eye and had another adult take him to the office. That night was Dad's Night and one of the Dad's mentioned that his son told him the strangest story at dinner that night. The son had told him "Dad, a terrible accident happened at school today! A boy's eyeball fell out! When asked if the paramedics were called, he replied "No, the teacher just popped it back in!" The Dad said his son was totally serious when he relayed this story. I guess I'll have to add that one to my credentials!


Name: Iris        E-Mail: a9607789@unet.univie.ac.at     From:  Austria

A Funny Thing Happened In Class..........

Tamara�s mother speaks English sometimes with her children

at home and says "listen!", because she wants to tell

Tamara and her brother Christian something - Christian says:

" I know, what "listen" means, it means "horch mal"(=listen in German)!

Tamera says: "No,

in your ear! And if you put your finger in the ear, you

(Explanation: To make the children understand, what I�m trying to tell them in English, I use all kinds of gestures, if I say "listen" I move my hand to my ear...)


Name: Jennifer                  E-Mail: jenni@golden.net

The Bear's Story

The small boy's name is not important to the story. But he had a toy koala whose name was poetry. It was Fred-Paul-Bear-Whose-Nickname-is-Pierre. The boy said the name matter-of-factly whenever he was asked, and people


 
Contact_FullName:
Maria
Contact_Email:
mcalcagno@sprint.ca

Date: 1-19-00

Two girls in my group were acting very silly and getting a little out of hand so I told them that they would both be getting minutes on a chair and could not play in the gym until their time was up. One girl received 6min and the other 8min. Just before our Gym time, we had a small circle time and I told the girls that if they sat quietly and were good listeners during this circle I would cut their time in half. A little boy who was obviously not paying attention to the entire conversation turns to me with horror in his eyes and says, "your going to cut the children in half?" Well both the girls and I could not help but laugh. I reassured him that I was cutting their time in half and not the girls.


Date: 1-15-00

One day I asked a 4-year-old Annie who just moved here from Tennessee to Wisconsin, to tell us what state she use to live in, She said "I didn't live in a state I
lived in a house."


Contact_FullName:
Melanie Fregeau
Contact_Email:
Menbell@AOL.com
Contact_FullName:
Tami
Contact_Email:
olling777@hotmail.com

Date: 12-30-99

When my daughter was about 2 years old, she had by that time heard us say "Bless you" whenever she or someone else would sneeze. One day I was holding her as we were looking at our phone book and she sneezed. She said," Mommy, I just blessed the phone book." �


Contact_FullName:
lisa
Contact_Email:
lisa762@mtayr.heartland.net
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pam
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subdoc@aol.com
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Pam
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subdoc@aol.com
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Jane
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JGriff19@Bellsouth.net
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lannieharris@hephzibah.net
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mom2arrows@aol.com
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Shelly McConn
 
snortypee@aol.com
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Sally
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snavarre@arctic.nsbsd.k12.ak.us
Contact_FullName:
janine
Contact_Email:
tcj9@aol.com

idea

One year when I was teaching a class of three year olds one of the girls went down to use the bathroom. All was quiet until we heard the toilet flush, followed by her scream of "I went too much! I went too much!". I walked in the bathroom to find that the toilet had overflowed and and spilled water all over the floor!

Date: 11-17-99


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Paige
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webb@ptsi.net
12-15-98
Dear Pastor

Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He never met my
sister. Yours sincerely, Arnold. Age 8, Nashville.

Dear Pastor, Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson
has been a good boy all week. I am Peter Peterson. Sincerely, Pete.
Age 9, Phoenix

Dear Pastor, My father should be a minister. Every day he
gives us a sermon about something. Robert Anderson, age 11

Dear Pastor, I'm sorry I can't leave more money in the
plate, but my father didn't give me a raise in my allowance. Could
you have a sermon about a raise in my allowance? Love, Patty. Age
10, New Haven

Dear Pastor, My mother is very religious. She goes to play
bingo at church every week even if she has a cold. Yours truly,
Annette. Age 9, Albany

Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven someday because I
know my brother won't be there. Stephen. Age 8, Chicago

Dear Pastor, I think a lot more people would come to your
church if you moved it to Disneyland. Loreen. Age 9. Tacoma

Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon where you said that good
health is more important than money but I still want a raise in my
allowance. Sincerely, Eleanor. Age 12, Sarasota

Dear Pastor, Please pray for all the airline pilots. I am
flying to California tomorrow. Laurie. Age 10, New York City

Dear Pastor, I hope to go to heaven some day but later than
sooner. Love, Ellen, age 9. Athens

Dear Pastor, Please say a prayer for our Little League team.
We need God's help or a new pitcher. Thank you. Alexander. Age
10, Raleigh

Dear Pastor, My father says I should learn the Ten
Commandments. But I don't think I want to because we have enough
rules already in my house. Joshua. Age 10, South Pasadena

Dear Pastor, Who does God pray to? Is there a God for God?
Sincerely, Christopher. Age 9, Titusville

Dear Pastor, Are there any devils on earth? I think there
may be one in my class. Carla. Age 10, Salina

Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon on Sunday. Especially when
it was finished. Ralph, Age 11, Akron

Dear Pastor, How does God know the good people from the bad
people? Do you tell Him or does He read about it in the newspapers?
Sincerely, Marie. Age 9, Lewiston
Name:
Diana
Email:
USAFLadyDi@aol.com
Name:
Sandi
Email:
adams@gibralter.net
11-21-98
Name:  Fran
E-mail:  atchr@aol.com
LITTLE TEDDY STODDARD
Author:  Unknown

There is a story many years ago of an elementary teacher. Her name was Mrs.Thompson. And as she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children a lie. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. But that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a
little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he didn't play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. And Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top
of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise. Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners...he is a joy to be around."

His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."

His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best but his father doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."

Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and sometimes sleeps in class."

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for
Teddy's. His present which was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist.
Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say,"Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to." After the children left she cried for at least an hour.

On that very day, she quit teaching reading, and writing, and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children.

Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one her "teacher's pets." A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with
the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer -- the letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, M.D.

The story doesn't end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he'd met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit in the place at the wedding that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.

Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. And she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last
Christmas together.

They hugged each, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference." Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said,"Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a
difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."
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