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Contact_FullName: Judy
Contact_Email: judee692@cs.com
date:: 05/16/04
Area: Pre K Humor

Idea:

Several years ago, I was the director of a church run nursery and day care. We had a before/after school kindergarten group that stayed with us in the morning until it was time for school. The teacher of that group always made lists on lined notebook paper. One day she sent a little girl up to my office for a piece of paper with lines. The little girl came upstairs with a very questioning look in her eye. She said, "Ms. Laura wants a piece of paper and wine. I'm not sure what she wants the wine for." Of course I knew she meant a piece of paper with lines and nearly fell off of my chair with laughter. "Ms. Laura" laughed hysterically as well.

Contact_FullName: Karen
Contact_Email: dkcastle@mchsi.com
date:: o3/30/04
Area: child humor

Idea:

One day while driving my home daycare kids to take the school kids to school, one of my 5 yr olds says, "Boy you know, your van is a lot slower than my mom's!" I had to chuckle when I told her mom that afternoon.

Contact_FullName: jane
Contact_Email: janetyson@comcast.net
date:: 03/17/04
Area: Preschool Humor

Idea:

I work in a center based daycare. One of our boys had a kidney disorder and needed to use a bathroom quite frequently. We were at a neighborhood park when he announced he needed to go potty. Since bathrooms were not readily available I took him over to a tree and stood so the other children would not see what he was doing. While he was peeing on the tree, he told me that this was the same tree he and his mommy used when they came to the park!

Contact_FullName: Val
Contact_Email: luvmunki9@hotmail.com
date:: 02/26/04
Area: preschool humor

Idea:

I took my 2 year olds to the zoo on a bus on day for a field trip. On the way to the zoo we passed the local gentlemen's club (a big purple building). The boy sitting in the seat with me tugged on my shoulder and told me "that's were my daddy works out. One night my mom was really angry that he was working out and we all had to wait in the car while she went in to get him." It took all my might to keep from laughing!

Contact_FullName: Sharon
Contact_Email: muss821@hotmail.com
date:: 02/10/04
Area: humor

Idea:

One of the kindergarten children had a cousin who had broken his or her collar bone. Another child asked if they could still see color with the color bone being broken:)

Contact_FullName: Rochel Simon
Contact_Email: lyrsimon@allvantage.com
date:: 02-03-04
Area: Preschool Humor

Idea:

My 4 year old students were discussing one day about their dads jobs. One boy whose dad is a obgyn said" my dad delivers babies" so another boy asked him "where? to the store"

Contact_FullName: Elizabeth
Contact_Email: e_korpella@yahoo.com
date:: 11/13/03
Area: Preschool Humor

Idea:

I work with three and four year olds at a daycare/preschool. We had started letting the children serve themselves on days when lunch was not very messy. The children loved to serve themselves. Everyday the kids would ask if they could serve themselves. One little girl didn't completely get it. She kept saying, "Teacher, can we go surfing?"

Contact_FullName: Kristen
Contact_Email: kdurrett@vt.edu
date:: 10/21/03
Area: Pre-K Humor

Idea:

I was working on animal pictures and sounds with my early childhood special education class one day when I came to a picture of a duck. When I looked at a little boy and asked him if he knew what it was, he said very simply, "Afflac":)

Contact_FullName: sissy
Contact_Email: audreyteach4u@aol.com
date:: 10/18/03
Area: pre-school humor

Idea:

one day while giving snack we had applesauce and Andrew asked me was there any apples in it and i told him no. his mother told me later that that's all he'll eat for snack at home. she thanked me for getting her son to eat it.

Contact_FullName: Joan Perkins
Contact_Email: bethany1@cyberscope.net
date:: 08/04/03
Area:

Idea:

Humor-One day a little three year old girl came up to me wanting to put her money in a gum ball machine that we had in our daycare center. She handed me a dime and asked me to put it in the gumball machine for her because it was too hard for her to turn. I tried to explain to this three year old that the dime was too small to go in, she needed a quarter which was bigger for the machine to work. Disappointed, she placed the dime on to the table, folded her arms and sighed. To my surprise she was still standing there staring at this dime when I walked by her again. I finally asked her what she was doing, and she replied "Waiting for my dime to grow-up."

Contact_FullName: Terrilynn
Contact_Email: TerriEmbser@aol.com
date:: 4/18/03
Area: Pre-K humor

Idea:

I am a teacher of 4 year olds. I have a couple cute things my children have done or said. I have one Chinese boy who understands English language but rarely speaks it. One day he came and taped me on my shoulder and showed me he had on his face properly, a pair of goggles with matchbox cars in the eye pieces of the goggles. Funny child. In my classroom I have a peace chair instead of a time out spot. It is a table and chairs that are used only for children who are having a difficult time with just themselves or with another child. Or they can sit there if they think they need a quiet time. One child told his mother he was the "mediator of the Peace Chair." Another child was upset and crying, I asked what was wrong and he said "my heart went to a meeting."

Contact_FullName: Michelle
Contact_Email: aloganstar@aol. com
date:: 04-03-03
Area: Humor

Idea:

One day a little girl was helping me make cups of goodies for the teachers and I was trying to make sure that they were pretty even and I commented, "This one looks a little bear." the little girl replied, "No Michelle there is no Bear in there." I then explained to her that I meant it wasn't full enough and that the other cups had more in them, she then replied, "Well my mommy won't mind if I just eat that candy so it's not full."

Contact_FullName: Elena
Contact_Email: ElRigby65
date:: 3-2-03
Area: Pre-school humor

Idea:

In my 3 y o class, one little guy is on a special diet - no artificial colors or flavors. He is really O.K. with this and know exactly what he can and cannot have (we have a list also) One day we had something not on the list and I was not sure and said :"Sean, Mrs. Elena's not sure, have you had these before." He quickly replied, "Nope, those have official colors" ....

Contact_FullName: Vicki
Contact_Email: vlo.830@netzero.com
date:: 02/20/03
Area: Pre-School Humor

Idea:

It was the beginning of the school year and we just finished reading a book called, "Getting Ready for School." The little girl had asked her mom questions about school and what to expect. Well, when the story was over, I asked the children what did the mom think of school? I had a few different answers, but one stuck out. One of my little girls thought for a moment, raised her hand and said, "Did she think it was too expensive?"
As you can tell, I work in a pre-school/daycare setting. It can get pretty expensive and the parents must talk about this at home! It cracked me up!

Contact_FullName: Pamela
Contact_Email: PamelaC93@aol.com
date:: 02/15/03
Area: Pre-K Humor

Idea:

While making fall wreaths to take to a local nursing home, I asked 4 yr. old Grant what color paint he would like----Rojo or Anaharado. He looked at me thoughtfully and replied, "Rojo please". As I handed him the paint, he sighed & said, "Whew, I hoped that meant red!!"

Contact_FullName: Marsha
Contact_Email: mgentry1@hart.k12.ky.us
date:: 02/14/03
Area: Preschool Humor

Idea:

In my classroom we still use record albums. After a few days of school I pulled out an album for music time & this little girl looked up with wide eyes & said, " That sure is a big CD!!!

Contact_FullName: Jeanne
Contact_Email: c.murphy@attbi.com
date:: 02/11/03
Area: Preschool humor

Idea:

I teach in a Christian-based preschool. Yesterday one of our very independent 3 year olds wanted to potty herself all-by-herself! She closed the bathroom door and I stood outside the waiting for her or waiting to offer assistance. After a minute I heard her finish up and I asked her "Wendy, are you o.k. by yourself?" She replied "I'm o.k. 'cause Jesus is in here with me".

Contact_FullName: Susan
Contact_Email: susanmnft@yahoo.com
date:: 02/06/03
Area: preschool humor

Idea:

While doing "calendar time" with my 4 year old class, we were identifying the letter "W" for Wednesday. I asked the class if they could think of another word that started with that letter -- emphasizing the W sound. Three children shouted out "wabbit!"

Contact_FullName: Emily
Contact_Email: emily0270@hotmail.com
date:: 01-06-03
Area: Preschool Humor

Idea:

At the beginning of a new preschool term, my class was discussing what everyone did over the summer. A four year old, Afton, raised her hand and said, "We went to the Lake of the Noah's Ark!" What she meant was Lake of the Ozarks.

Contact_FullName: Stephanie
Contact_Email: miss_stephanie1@netzero.net
date:: 11-29-02
Area: Preschool Humor

Idea:

Another lunch time funny: A little boy in my 3 year old class always has a funny little twist on what lunch is called. While we were busy eating Salisbury Steak he kept asking what it was called and I repeated it several times for him. When his mother came to pick him up that afternoon... he ran up to her and said "Mommy we had the best lunch today... we had Strawberry Cake!!" Never a dull day in the preschool world!

Contact_FullName:: Brandi
Contact_Email:: reedbn44@aol.com
date:: 8/29/01
where:: pre-k humor

idea

I teach one of the pre-k classes at a private preschool and kindergarten. Our class had just gotten a new member who had never been in daycare or school before. So all during center time Jeffrey followed me around crying and asking "mama's coming?". Nothing I or the other teacher could do would calm him down. He finally settled down after a while, but the first thing the next morning he started in again with the "mama's coming?". After about ten minutes of me assuring him that his mother would return, one little girl walked right up to him and said (very loudly) "YES! Your mama's coming!" and walked away. Jeffrey was so shocked that he stopped being upset and just looked at her like she had lost her marbles!.

I am a preschool teacher. I teach four year olds. Throughout the school year I made note of all the funny sayings that the kids said. Most of these sayings were said during free play time while the children were playing dress-up.

One day the kids were talking about mommy's and daddy's getting married. They were on the subject about wedding rings. One little girl said that "men don't wear rings". A little boy playing with her replied: "on wedding days, they do."

One little girl in my room had the hardest time playing one day. She kept running away from her friends and standing behind a tree. I finally asked her "what's the matter". She replied by saying: "every time I wear these overalls, I get a wedgies". I died laughing.

Me and this same little girl had a conversation during art one day. We were painting pigs for a project one day and the girl got paint all over herself. I told her: "now you look like a little piggy. let's get you cleaned up." "Look, you have some on you too," she responded. "it will come off," I said. "I don't know. I don't think it comes off chocolate." I thought this was the cutest remark that a child could make.

Name:: crystal
E-Mail:: crystalablack@hotmail.com
date:: 05/16/01
where:: preschool humour

idea

I work with three and young four year olds. I have a few cute stories to share. One day at lunch, a three year old boy was gathering everyone's apple seeds. When I asked him why he replied, "To feed the squirrels and chickenmunks." Same child was playing with the Barbies. His Barbie drove in a car to the store. The Barbie was returning home when the child stopped and said, "I forgot the cigarettes." I said to the child, "You know Andy, cigarettes are very unhealthy." His response was, "Don't worry. I won't smoke them in here."

One day while we were outside playing on the structure, my husband stopped by because he forgot his keys. The children all flocked to the fence because my husband is a soldier and was in uniform. I gave him the keys and he walked back to the car. Another car pulled up and another soldier got out. The children got very excited. One little boy asked me, "Is that your other one?"

I have also worked with 2 year olds. One two year old had a bowel movement in the potty. It had curled into a spiral shape. The child stood up and said, "Look Crystal, I did a fancy poop."

Prior to working in daycare I worked in an elementary school. A staff member in the kindergarten class was pregnant. She wasn't feeling well and had to sit down. A child approached her and asked, "Would you like me to call your mom?" That same woman had complications with the pregnancy and had to go to Winnipeg (a nearby city) to have the baby. The following year my mom went to work at that same school. I was no longer there. She told the children that she was my mom. One child asked her where I was. She told the child that I had moved to Winnipeg. "Is she having a baby?" I was not.

Name:: janice
E-Mail:: pajmpa@mediaone.net
date:: 05-21-01
where:: preschool humor

idea

I was waiting for the bus with some of the older kids at my center who go to public school. Now I have this little boy whom is fascinated with trucks, buses, etc. So I brought him along to wait with us. Well the bus was running a little late so I began to say "where is that bus" And my little preschooler looked up at me and said "Yeah where is that damn bus!" I almost fell on the floor laughing and he just kept saying it until I finally could stop laughing and give him a new way to say it without the not so nice word:)

Name:: manda
E-Mail:: winnniethepooh20008
date:: 05/12/01
where:: preschool humor

idea

While supervising the playground during outdoor play, I came into weekly memory of humor. While drawing a picture on the outdoor chalk board, I asked a little to tell me about her picture. She said it was her baby brother. New to the center, I asked her how old her brother was. She remarked he was a year old. I asked her if she helps with feeding her, keeping in mind this little girl was four years old. She said no that he fed himself his bottle. I then proceeded in asking her if she helped feed him when he was a little baby. It was then that this little one alarmed me with a touch of mother nature. Her answer was "no mommy's boobies fed him."

Name:: Sandy
: BUbabe002@aol.com

3-12-01

I teach 4 year year olds and one day while on the playground, my partner teacher noticed one of our little boys on the top of the monkey bars peeing across the playground and other children running underneath it. When we went out to stop it, my partner teacher asked, "What are you doing", the child responded, Don't worry Mrs. Hopson, we're on fire and he's the fireman! We couldn't help but laugh!

Name:: Kristen Carr
: briterespite@yahoo.com

3-12-01

My class was eating lunch and the menu that day contained applesauce. One of the children was having a difficult time eating the rest of his meal without his hand touching the applesauce. After finally becoming very frustrated over this he sighed loudly and firmly shouted, "can't a man just eat his lunch without getting applesauce on his fingers?" Needless to say, this little "man" had us all laughing!

Name:: Susie
Email:: ejj@buckeyenet.net

1-18-01

This is some pre-school humor. One afternoon during lunch we were having some fruit cocktail. One little boy raised his hand and said "Miss Susie, can I have some more "fruit-n-cottontail"?

Name:: Jackie
Email:: iodine63@yahoo.com

1-13-01

One morning while cleaning up after snack a boy in my four year old class came up to me with a question. "Do you want to know a secret?" he asked. I asked him if he really wanted to share this secret. He was over joyed to share his secret with me. " You know some times my mom wears underwear under her clothes and some times she doesn't!" I told my little friend that this is a secret that I think he should keep between his mother and him self. It was hard for me to look at his mother from then on with out thinking of our little conversation.

Name:: tami
Email:: tsralston@aol.com

1-13-01

I teach 4 year olds. Most of the time there is this one little girl who is always hanging out with the teachers... she thinks she is one of us...One day while outside on the play yard my co teacher and I were talking about one of the students in the class, unaware that Lauren was right there, we were saying how he was in his own little world right now.. well about a week later, Lauren is watching this little boy outside and looks at me and says to me "Miss Tami, why is Eddie always on his own Earth?"

Name:: Carol
Email:: msc.admin@snet.net

12-28-00

One morning we were evaluating our preschoolers cognitive skills. We asked each child to count to five. Then we asked, "Who can count backwards?" One girl jumped up and said, "I can, I can!" She then turned her back to the class and said "1,2,3,4,5!"

Name:: Laurie
Email:: pepodwyer@aol.com

12-5-00

One day in my preschool class, a boy named David had to go to the bathroom. I told that he would have to wait because another child was using it. He said, "Okay, I'll just hold my penis".

Name:: Tammy
Email:

12-5-00

One of my four year olds was building a boat out of Legos, when one of his friends asked him was it a fishing boat, Parker answered no, well is it a sailboat? Parker answered no way, this is the love boat!

Name:: Mary
Email:: 46769@sympatico.ca

11-30-00

Our Canadian national anthem includes the words, "God keep our land glorious and free." As we were standing singing the anthem in the kindergarten room, Keifer asked, "Why do they keep saying Keiferland?" Ever tried singing, while trying to suppress laughter?

Name:: Dawn
Email:: goinsfamily@hotmail.com

11-30-00

Today I was making pumpkin pie with my preschoolers. They were all taking turns adding the ingredients to the bowl. My first little one did a wonderful job of cracking her egg. However, there was some shell to be taken out. As I was doing this, one of my very precocious four year olds questioned why I was picking through the egg. I explained that with the eggshell, our pie might be a little crunchy. She told us in the sweetest voice, "Well, on Saturday's when my daddy makes the scrambled eggs, they're always crunchy."

Name: Alana
Email: aakers@princeton.k12.oh.us

11-10-00

"Hooked on Phonics" I teach a multi-age preschool class with 3 to 5 year old children. We work on letters and sounds at circle time. A little girl who is 3 1/2 has become very interested in writing letters and working with letters and their sounds. She apparently was giving attitude to her mother one night and the mom said she was going to give her a "whoopin'". The little girl goes "Wha-wha-wha, that's 'W'!". The mom said "Oh, so your hooked on phonics, now?"

Contact_FullName:: megan kelly
Contact_Email:: mkelly@loganet.net

11-7-00

We have a very nice bus driver in our school district, and he loves to take my preschoolers on our field trips. He is an older gentleman, who is bald, and usually wears a ball cap. On the way to our Pumpkin Patch field trip, I noticed the bus driver take off his hat. It wasn't long before I had a tap on my shoulder. "Hey, Megan!! Look!!! Steve (the bus driver) has skin growing on his hair!!!" Isn't that clever, he wasn't bald he just has some extra skin. Tell that one to any balding man you know, I'm sure he will get a kick out of it.

Contact_FullName:: Shannon
Contact_Email:: sank19@hotmail.com

11-5-00

I work at a preschool with 3-4 year olds. On day A parent came in and told me what her child was doing the night before. Ben put on a pair of Mr. Potato head glasses, and said with the glasses on "I'm Miss Diane," and then took them of and said, "now I'm Miss Shannon." It was so cute!!!!

Contact_FullName:: Cassie
Contact_Email:: casleray@teacher.com

11-5-00

I work in a site based child care center, second shift. We were having midnight snack once before the kids went to bed. Because we had already put their pajamas on, they wore smocks. Once child tipped her juice into her lap. We quickly pulled the smock off before the juice soaked through. "Praise the Lord! My 'jamas are dry!" she said. Another child chimed in, "Hallelujah!"

Contact_FullName:: Cassie
Contact_Email:: casleray@teacher.com

11-5-00

I work in a site based child care center, second shift. One night as we were discussing night time animals, I told them we were going to play a guessing game. I would describe something and they would guess what it was. I started out, "What animal in our room stays awake after you go to bed?" One of my little girls looked at me and answered, "Ms. Cassie!" Not quite the answer I was looking for, but fundamentally true.

Contact_FullName:: Tracy
Contact_Email:: Keep_right@hotmail.com

10-23-00

One day, my 4's and I were talking about what they would like to be when they grew up. One of my girls said "I want to grow up and be like Ms. Tracy." My heart just melted. The next child said, "I wanna work in the mall." The first girl said "no wait- I wanna work in the mall instead." Aww...replaced so quickly.

Contact_FullName:: Peg
Contact_Email:

10-23-00

I had a child, that was throwing a royal fit...She was kicking and screaming. You know one of those real good fits that a child can have if she just does not want to pick up her toys when it is time. Well, as this child was having her fit another child went over to her and said," If I acted like that my mama would give me a real good spanking..." From the mouths of babes!

Contact_FullName:: Julie
Contact_Email:: brewton@swbell.net

10-23-00

At the beginning of the school year, some of my children were looking at books while others were finishing their projects. I noticed that several children gathered around Logan who was "reading" a book to them. Logan's audience was laughing as Logan read. One little girl asked Logan how he knew what the story was. Logan replied. "I'm reading the pictures." The little girl then asked, "Then what are the words there for?" Logan replied, "The words are there for the people who can't read the pictures!"

Contact_FullName:: Angela
Contact_Email:: acollins@interbaun.com

10-7-00

I teach toddlers, aged 2-3, in a daycare. Just today I was changing one of my older 2's and noticed she was wearing a small bra under her shirt. When I asked her what it was, she replied very proudly "I'm wearing mommy's boobies." I laughed for the rest of the day at that one. :)

Contact_FullName:: kathy
Contact_Email:: sportskat1@cs.com

10-7-00

My four year old preschool class was discussing pumpkins. I took a pumpkin to class and carved it and read Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater to them. We took a puppet on a stick and placed it inside the pumpkin. I then asked the children "why do you suppose that Peter could not keep his wife?" One little boy raised his hand in confidence and answered.... "Because she had WAY to many credit cards."

Contact_FullName:: Bethany
Contact_Email:: macontino@earthlink.net

10-2-00

I was doing my student teaching at a Head Start program. All of us were sitting at the table eating lunch. One of the girls in my class asked me to pass her the "cotton cheese" I giggled and explained to her it was called "cottage cheese" she giggled and said that doesn't make sense. I thought to myself it does look like cotton.

Contact_FullName:: Sharon
Contact_Email:: rona366@hotmail.com

9-30-00

One day last fall, I was talking to a kindergartener named Kamaria. She asked me if I liked Michael Jackson. I said not particularly, and she answered back, "I like Michael Jackson. I like both of them." I asked what she meant by both of them and she replied, I like the black one and the white one."

Contact_FullName:: Denise
Contact_Email:: henockva@cs.com

9-26-00

One morning we were putting handprints on our "All About Me" placemats. When we were nearly done, I asked the children if there was anyone left who hadn't hand painted yet. One little boy said, "I don't think you did me. If you did, I didn't see it." It was cute and gave us a chuckle.

Contact_FullName:: Tracy
Contact_Email:: hooyadad

9-17-00

I teach PK-4. One day my children were extra "rowdy" during our Bible lesson. I finally had enough of their silliness and told everyone that I was very upset with the behavior of the class. Everyone became very quiet then, Marissa, (my social butterfly), stood up with her arms open wide and said, "Group hug, group hug". I could do nothing but smile. We had a great day after our hug.

Contact_FullName:: Amanda
Contact_Email:: Princess_Dazey@excite.com

9-17-00

One day, while cleaning up after my children's lunchtime, I noticed that our recycling bin smelled really badly. A co-worker walked in, noticed it as well, and asked, "what is that?". At the same time, one of my 3 year olds walked out of the bathroom, and having overheard, said, completely seriously, "It's my feet, I took my socks off"!

Contact_FullName:: Corie
Contact_Email:: creativelearning@home.com

9-11-00

A 3 year old girl I was teaching had been coughing all week long. Everyday I asked her if she was getting sick. Everyday she said no. Then on Friday when I asked if she was getting sick, she said "No, I think its salmonella poisoning."

Contact_FullName:: Julie
Contact_Email:: PP4Malta@aol.com

9-11-00

My class was working with a puzzle of the food pyramid and one piece is a can with a fish on the front (Tuna). One child asked the others "what is this?" and someone answered "that's tuna fish". The first child then asked "what's tuna fish?" A little boy very seriously replied "oh, it's fish that's been tuna-ed".

Contact_FullName:: Betty
Contact_Email:: BWPCREEK@JUNO.COM

9-11-00

I teach 4 year old Kindergarten. One of my little guys, Jason, cute with bright red hair and freckles and a "real challenge" who said what ever popped into his head and was real quick on his feet. The church I worked at had Ladies Bible Study every Wednesday. One Wednesday we were walking back from the lunch room, Jason was our leader and I was walking in front of him. We got to the door to enter the preschool building just as a "very" large woman came out. Jason said (in a loud voice) "WHAT A.. I quickly turned around to look at him and gave him a "don't you dare" look! He smiled at me and finished his sentence with "beautiful woman." Needless to say, I could not keep a straight face. Like I said, "He's quick on his feet!!"

Contact_FullName:: Jayda
Contact_Email:: Jaydalynn@aol.com

9-10-00

I work at a site-based daycare. We were putting the two year olds to bed one night. One of my Co-teachers was leaving for the day when a child said Mrs. Menda, are you going to work now? How sweet is that.

Contact_FullName:: Jayda
Contact_Email:: jaydalynn@aol.com

9-10-00

Two year olds are great. While discussing going to the potty a boy looked at me and said " I have a penis" I replied that yes he did have a penis, He pointed to a friend, also a boy and said he has a penis. Again I replied yes he has a penis too. Then the child pointed at me and said Mrs. Jayda has a penis. I said ,no, Jayda is a girl and she doesn't have a penis. We had already taught this child to tell our boss that we needed a raise but that afternoon when we asked him to tell her what we needed he said, very seriously, Mrs. Jayda needs a penis! My favorite story.

Contact_FullName:: Ms. Millie
Contact_Email:: dolfan628@hotmail.com

9-9-00

I teach a class of 4-5 year olds, and one day one little boy seemed to be concentrating very hard on the blank computer screen. I went over to ask him what he was doing and he said "oh nothing...I'm just buying a motorcycle off the internet...It was one of the cutest things I had ever heard!

Contact_FullName:: Mandi
Contact_Email:: juliafields@hotmail.com

9-9-00

In my 4K class, we have a pet rabbit. The rabbit's name is Pepper. We waited a while before we let the rabbit out of the cage because I wanted the children to get used to the room first. On the big "COMING OUT" day. The children gathered around and watched. I asked if anyone could tell me the rabbit's name and one little girl very confidently answered, "SALT!"

Contact_FullName:: Allison
Contact_Email:: atcherneshoff@yahoo.com

9-8-00

Last year, I lost my voice. I was told I couldn't use it for 10 days to avoid losing it completely. So during circle time, my aide told my class that I had lost my voice. After circle time, little Naomi tugged on my skirt to get my attention. As I bent down to listen to her, she whispered to me, "Did you look under your bed?"

Contact_FullName:: Belinda
Contact_Email:: beliteel@mareebass.qld.edu.au

8-20-00

After a celebration at preschool one day, Bryce, a very clever 5 year old, said to my Aide, "Miss Loretta, do you know why my parents didn't come today like everybody else's?" Loretta answered "Didn't they have to work Bryce? A lot of parents didn't come because they had to work." Bryce replied "No, it's because they are slack parents." Our slack parents are now and always were the hardest working helpers we have this year. Through fear of more public shame perhaps!

Contact_FullName:: Karen
Contact_Email:: Marley1416@AOL.com

8-2-00

I teach 4&5 year olds and at that age they always talk about getting married. One day Hannah said she was going to marry Bryce. I asked her what Ms. Karen's rule about marriage was and all the kids replied, "You have to finish College first"! Well, one boy groaned and Hannah said "Oh, College is fun. You get to go to the donut store in the middle of the night in your jammies!

Contact_FullName:: Lara
Contact_Email:: Thatgyrl01@aol.com

8-2-00

This is a small story that came to me from a parent. Her son ( who is in my class 3 years old) had just been drawing on the walls of a freshly painted house. She sat him down and started to explain to him that this was not ok and that he was going to spend time in a time out. Just then, he looked up at her and said.." Mom, You're so pretty...you look just like Cinderella. He got out of this time out.....and we all still get a laugh out of it.

Contact_FullName:: Kristin
Contact_Email:: kmartin@childrenfirst.com

7-18-00

While playing with the various utensils in the play dough bin, Russell, a very precocious 3 year old, inquired as to the function of a particular utensil. I replied that the instrument could be used to make "hair" or "spaghetti". Russell looked at me with great sympathy and explained to his disillusioned teacher that the utensil was quite simply a garlic press.

Contact_FullName:: Jeanette
Contact_Email:: jgray@wwns.net

7-9-00

area

During circle time we were discussing Spring Time and the weather, and the question that i asked my 3year olds was, "Who can tell me what happens when it rains?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "My Cable goes out." (smile).

Contact_FullName:: Lissa
Contact_Email:: roque@puma.sirinet.net

6-15-00

I work with preschool group .One day during snack time we were having muffins and as we were passing the muffins around I started to open the milk. I noticed that a child had no longer a muffin on the table or did not seem to be chewing her muffin . So I asked, "Kallie what happened to your muffin" she did not respond . I started to look under the table ,on the floor ,everywhere around her .After asking her about two more times where she threw the muffin she finally responded "I throwed it in my mouth"!

Contact_FullName:: Jodi
Contact_Email:: innerfeldjodi@hotmail.com

6-14-00

I teach a before- and after-school program at a daycare. One morning I needed to drive the children to school in an old red van instead of the usual white bus that was being used by an affiliated church group. The director later entered my classroom to inform me that the church group called to say that the white bus had broken down. Four-year-old Chelsea sighed, "Miss Jodi, it's a sad day for our bus."

Contact_FullName:: Miss Carol
Contact_Email:: rpitcher@email.msn.com

6-11-00

During our lesson on "How We Have Grown" we were putting together a baby made out of paper. A mother came to the class to visit. she asked us what we were doing. Little Skyler said. "Oh we are just in here making babies".

Contact_FullName:: Miss Robin
Contact_Email:: raves@mciworld.com

6-4-00

Our lunch time is so stressful after each teacher is done eating we allow the children to have extras of what food is left. On one very stressful day I was almost done when young Trent asked me if he could have more minutes. I told him to go ahead and take his time we were in no hurry, a look of disgust came to his face and he said again "May I please have more minutes of corn?" Then it hit me we always ask the children if they would like seconds of anything.

Contact_FullName:: Judy
Contact_Email:: jjarnold@xmission.com

Date: 3-30-00

I teach a wonderful group of 4 and 5 year-olds in my home-preschool. Today during Rhyme Time we were reciting "Mary, Mary Quite Contrary." One little girl was giving it her by saying, "Mary, Mary, quite contrary. How does your garden grow. With silver bells and taco shells and pretty caves all in a row." We all laughed and joined her in reciting the nursery rhyme "Megan-style!"

Contact_FullName:: Traci
Contact_Email:: freespiritnow70@aol.com

Date: 3-30-00

I work in a Day Care Center in a Preschool Room. Our unit for the week was Letter Recognition. I was putting together a chart at home for the next day at school. At the top it said "What Is Your Favorite Letter". While working on this my six year old daughter came over to me, read it and said "Mommy, guess what my favorite letter is". I decided to play along with her and guessed a couple of letters and each time I was followed by a "no". Finally I asked her what her favorite letter was, and she said "A". I asked "Why A"? And she said "No mommy just A.

Contact_FullName:: Joy
Contact_Email:: JallenT@aol.com

Date: 3-23-00

I have a preschool in my home. The other day my neighbor's boy who comes to my preschool came over to play with my 5 year old. He said he would like to watch a movie. I asked what he wanted to watch and he told me "Embarrassing Bears". I was not sure what movie he was referring to until my son said the one where they make a mess and clean it up. I had a hard time not laughing out loud when I realized he was wanting Berenstain Bears and the Messy Room. Now we always refer to it as the Embarrassing Bears. Kids are sure fun.

Contact_FullName:: Peg
Contact_Email:: Psteach45@aol.com

Date: 3-22-00

Brian's Mom came in with a darling story. Brian asked, "Mom, today is a holiday just for girl's right?" "Brian, why would you think that St. Patrick's Day is just for girls?" Brian explained. "I wear shorts not panties." Happy St. Panties Day to all!

Contact_FullName:: Suzanne
Contact_Email:: kelsuz@netzero.net

Date: 3-22-00

While our pre K class was outside playing. The wind began to blow and the white tree blossoms began to fall. One child runs over and exclaims "it's snowing blossoms". The kids all got excited and played with some "snow" in March in Eastern North Carolina where we do not get much snow.

Contact_FullName:: Teresa
Contact_Email:: shagoury@w-link.net

Date: 3-20-00

It was rest time's and I was rubbing Kyle's back when he looked up at me and said, "When you rub my back it feels like sugar". My heart melted.

Contact_FullName:: Kim
Contact_Email:: kimbo430@yahoo.com

Date: 3-11-00

It was the end of the day and I was talking to a new parent that had just started their child at our center. When another student of mine came out and said: "Miss Kim I went poopie on the potty and it was 30 lbs." The parent laughed and I turned a dark shade of red. That was something for the journal book. All I can say is out of the mouth of babes... (HaHa)

Contact_FullName:: Lisa Johnson
Contact_Email:: ljohnson@lincolnk12.ky.us

Date: 3-8-00

Today at school we practiced our tornado drill. One of my three year olds cried though the whole thing. When I asked her why she was crying she popped her head up and said, as only she can, "I don't have to do this, I don't want to do this, Take me back to the room! I calmly explained that we were only practicing but we could not get up until the principal told us to. She continued to cry until we went back into the room. After everything had calmed down and we were on the playground I asked her why she was so upset about the tornado drill. She calmly stated, "There was no tornado so we didn't have to be on our knees." I asked her how she knew there was no tornado. In a shocked voice she replied, "Mrs. Lisa, the school wasn't shaking or flying away! She was completely right and all the staff got a good laugh!

Contact_FullName:: susan kay
Contact_Email:: dminer1@raex.com

Date: 3-8-00

A new child at school last week was very excited about coming to school. I was getting ready to do music and movement by selecting a record when I over heard her say, "Whoa...big C-D.

Contact_FullName:: Traci
Contact_Email:: freespiritnow70@aol.com

Date: 3-1-00

My daughter attended the Preschool where I work. One morning when I brought her in I explained to my co-worker that we had had a small fire in a light fixture the night before at our house so she would probably be talking a lot about it through out the day. I went on to my class and about an hour later my co-worker called down to my room and said that my daughter wanted to share her story for show and tell and wanted me to be there because other children had their parents due to a special parents breakfast. After getting coverage for my room, I went to my daughter's class. Besides me there were about eight other parents present. When it was my daughter's turn she proceeded to tell everyone about the night before. She told everything from when the fire started to when the fire department left. She ended her story with ("And then we went to the bar.") She sat down and said the end. My mouth dropped and every parent and teacher in the room was staring at me. When I recovered from the shock of what she had just said, I said my turn! And went on to explain that the person who owned the bar we went to also owned my house and I had to let them know what had happened and that my mother worked the door there and I wanted to let her know everything was O.K.!! It has been two years since that has happened and some of those same parents have children that still attend there, and every once in a while a parent or teacher from that day will tease and ask me if there have been anymore fires or bar visits. Be careful you never know what children will say so always be on guard.

Contact_FullName:: stephanie
Contact_Email:: keesh@ieee.org

Date: 3-1-00

Today while our pre-school children were eating lunch one of my co-teachers and I were discussing what we where going to be doing this weekend and if we could get together for a day. I asked her if she could not go were we wanted to go what would she do? She said that she would go window shopping. That's when one of our children said " Why do you have to buy new windows?" We could not stop laughing.

Contact_FullName:: Lois
Contact_Email:: rlrzfisher@juno.com

Date: 2-29-00

I teach at a day care, I have older 2's and younger 3's...also known as the "potty room". While taking a boy to the potty and he missed a little, getting his pants wet, I then reached above him on the shelves getting him some dry clothes. Doing this I knocked over a poster board that then hit him right between the eyebrows. He was ok but did have a little red mark. His parents had a little laugh and said that he got his way the rest of the day didn't he? And I agreed. Months latter when this same 3 year old kicked one of his friends I had him on my lap explaining why we don't hit and he looks at me and says "do you remember that day when you hit me with that poster board?" And he got out of the talk about hitting because I was laughing to hard!

Contact_FullName:: Loretta
Contact_Email:: cak@andrews.edu

Date: 2-29-00

I teach a very smart class of toddlers! One day, not so long ago, my words came back to haunt me. I was showing the class a newly developed roll of film featuring their classmates. One of my older girls was screaming "ME SEE!! ME SEE!!" after each picture. I assured her that everyone was going to get to see each picture. This did nothing to console her. She continued her screaming. Finally on the last picture she was silenced. My oldest boy leaned over and got very close to her face. He said in all seriousness...."Krista, CHILL!" I thought I was going to die. I could not stop laughing. I have used that word in the past when everyone is crying and there is nothing in particular wrong. I guess that he remembered it. It will treasure that memory and smile every time I think of it. :)

Contact_FullName:: Cindy
Contact_Email:: Volkcl79@hotmail.com

2-23-00

During circle time my students are often finding "treasures" on our rug such as beads or sparkles. So one day while my assistant was asking me a question I heard one student say, "Here Cindy this is for you." I said thank you to the boy and put out my had while still looking at my assistant. It was then I actually heard the rest of his sentence, what he actually said was, "Here's a booger for you Cindy!" My assistant still laughs as to how calm I was when I said, "Next time please use a tissue instead of Cindy's hand!" I have since learned to look at what the students are handing to me before taking them. :)

Contact_FullName:: Angie
Contact_Email:: doogle@hcaol.com

2-20-00

A typical day in Head Start: we were exercising in the large group area when one of my boys stopped the activity and looked very shocked. I asked him what was wrong and he pointed to my old record albums I was going through and said "Mrs. Angie, you sure got some big ol' CD's!" I still tell that one and it is two years old!!!

Contact_FullName:: Andi
Contact_Email:: hooper@sd.znet.com

Date: 2-9-00

It was outside time at our school when a little boy was standing in the corner rubbing his eye's. I walked up to him and noticed his eyes were watering, I asked him why he was crying, His response was, "I'm not crying, my eyes are sweating!"

Contact_FullName:: Marcy
Contact_Email:: ymtaitz@aol.com

Date: 2-6-00

One afternoon as I was handing out notices to the children at dismissal time, I did not get any response from Cristina after calling her name several times. So I said jokingly to the class, " I guess Cristina changed her name, since she's not answering me." Finally awakened, Cristina came up to me, and said seriously, "My name is Brittany Spears, but you can call me Cristina!"

Contact_FullName:: Kathy
Contact_Email:: katliveshere@aol.com

Date: 1-30-00

One day a little boy in my class was very excited about something his family had done. I proceeded to tell me a very long and drawn out story about it as we know children will do. Well, I was very busy trying to get things put away and gather the children into the same area and every thing was very hectic so I was listening with only half an ear. Any way when the child had finally finished the story (I still don't know what it was about) I tried to reply with excitement in my voice so I said "HOT DOG, that must have been really exciting" The child looked at me with a little confusion and said "Miss Kathy, I not a hot dog I a boy" I had to laugh at that.

Contact_FullName:: Tiffany
Contact_Email:: tiffanywheeler@mailexcite.com

Date: 1-30-00

One Monday, one of my mother's came in. I asked how her weekend was. I was not expecting the answer that I got. She said that her 4 year old daughter Katy was playing with peanuts on Friday night. The mother did not think anymore about the peanuts. She just thought Katy ate them. On Saturday Katy told her mother that her nose hurt. Please get the peanut out. Her mother looked up into her nose and saw the peanut up inside. She tried to get it out with tweezers. This made it worse! The peanut pushed further up into the nose. They went to the emergency room. When the doctor asked Katy why she stuck a peanut up her nose, she replied, "My name is not Katy, my name is Dumbo. I was trying to eat the peanut. I put it up my snout, but it got stuck!" Can you say BIG IMAGINATION? The doctor pulled the already swollen peanut out of her nose and told her to use her mouth next time.

Contact_FullName:: Melanie Fregeau
Contact_Email:: Menbell@AOL.com
Contact_FullName:: Tami
Contact_Email:: olling777@hotmail.com

Date: 12-2-99

Contact_FullName:

Wendy

Contact_Email:

Queensmaid@aol

idea 11-27-99

One morning, while playing in the dramatic play area with several of my four year olds, we were discussing fruits and vegetables. One of my girls brought me a plate of plastic vegetables and told me to eat my food. I asked her "Why do I need to eat the beans? Are they good for me?" She looked at me and responded, "Miss Wendy they are good for you. Beans make your bowels move." I have never laughed so hard over a remark from a child.

Contact_FullName:

Sally

Contact_Email:

snavarre@arctic.nsbsd.k12.ak.us

idea

Walking down the hall one day with my ECE students one little boy held up his hand and asked, "teacher, is this my right hand?" I told him yes it was. He then held up his other hand and said, "Then this is my wrong hand."

Date: 11-21-99

Contact_FullName:

janine

Contact_Email:

tcj9@aol.com

idea

One year when I was teaching a class of three year olds one of the girls went down to use the bathroom. All was quiet until we heard the toilet flush, followed by her scream of "I went too much! I went too much!". I walked in the bathroom to find that the toilet had overflowed and and spilled water all over the floor!

At the end of the day we take out our post office to write. A child was writing his name and wrote the word MAMA. He came over and said," See, I wrote my mothers nickname!"

Email:

prplhrt9@aol.com

Date: 5-25-99

One day in class I was being my silly self and teasing my students (ages 4-5). When I noticed a Jordan watching me. I looked at her and said "I know I am very silly, huh?" She replied, "Yes Sara, but I still love you".

Name:

Peggy

Email:

pduff@maynard.nesc.k12.ar.us

Date: 5-25-99

I am the computer lab supervisor for the elementary school. One of the programs we use for kindergarten is a dot-to-dot alphabet. One day a kindergarten child was studing the puzzle very hard as I noticed this I walked over to see if I could help. She was working on a puzzle that would be a mailbox when she finished. I asked her what was wrong and she said she could not find the minnow. I explained that there was no fish in her puzzle and she said yes there was. I once again tried to explain that there was not a minnow. She told me in no uncertain terms that there was and proceeded to point the the letters saying the abc's when she got to the letter k she proceeded with a l-minnow. I thought I would collapse right there and had to leave her sight. Anyone who has heard a pre-schooler sing the alphabet song will notice how the letters can get slurred when the child reaches the letters m and n.

Name:

Jen

Email:

jenyankee@hotmail.com

Date: 5-25-99

One of the little girls in my class arrived at preschool with a HUGE black eye, I said "Oh my gosh Kelsey, what happened to your eye?" and she turns to me and replies caually, "Oh, I was playing at McDonalds and a big kid kicked me in the balls." !!!!*LOL*!!!! (she was playing in the ball pit and got kicked).

Name:

Jen

Email:

jenyankee@hotmail.com

Date: 5-25-99

On my first day teaching at a new preschool, the children were curious to know all about me, they of course wanted to know if I lived with my mother and father, and why I didn't. I told them that I grew up and got married and live in my own house now. So they asked me why I got married. I thought that was a very good question so at group time I asked the children, "Why do you think people get married?" and wrote down their responses.....here are a few

"So they have someone to talk to when they drive in their cars" "Because they like to kiss" "Because the man is a prince" "Because they love each other" "Because they want to have children" "So they have someone to cook their dinner" "So they can have their own room"

At the beginning of my first year teaching kindergarten we were all in the lunchroom in line and the kids were all over the place. Well I said boys and girls is this the way you are supposed to stand in line? Please show me what a "line" looks like (keep in mind I have southern accent) one of my little girls gets down on all fours and roars very loudly. I looked at here and said Emily what are you doing? She replied I'm showing you what a "lion" looks like.

Name:

Janet

Email:

Janmacl@aol.com

Last year I had a little girl in my 4 year old class named Emily. I asked her if her mommy's belly was getting bigger (she was expecting). Emily replied " no but her boobs are" she then explained that her dad told her so.

Name:

Maria

E-Mail:

Date: 4-18-99

While discussing Christopher Columbus with my group of four and five year olds, I had one little boy raise his hand and with a very concerned and curious look he asked, "So, did Christopher Columbus sail before or after the Titanic?"

Name:

April

E-Mail:

jbsfrog@webtv.net

Date: 4-18-99

I teach 4 and 5 year olds. As I was leaning over the table one day a child walked by me and said," Boy, April, you sure do have a big bottom!" I said, "Excuse me?" His reply was," It's okay. Teachers are supposed to have big bottoms!"

Name:

Katherine

E-Mail:

TeachGA@aol.com

Date: 4-18-99

Last week, as I was recovering from one of the "viruses" that seem to always go around our Pre-K room, my voice became very hoarse. On Friday morning the children wanted to sing so many Valentine songs that by the time the afternoon class arrived I was reduced to a squeak. One of my precious angels asked me what happened to my voice and my aide quickly informed her that "Mrs. Walker has lost her voice." To my surprise, she quickly rounded up all the other girls and they proceeded to look in all the cupboards of the housekeeping area for my voice!

Name:

Sandra

E-Mail:

SilySandra@aol.com

Name:

Peggy

E-Mail:

pduff@maynard.nesc.k12.ar.us

Date: 4-18-99

Name:

Jen

E-Mail:

jenyankee@hotmail.com

Barbie will turn 40 in 1999. Hard to believe, isn't it! She began life in 1959 as a glamorous airline stewardess, soared into space as an astronaut in 1974, and ran for president in 1992. In 1997, bearing disability courageously, she folded her first-ever bending legs into a wheelchair to become the role model for a newly identified market. In each appearance, in every nationality and skin tone, she is always perfectly groomed, entrancingly attired. She is the ideal. So as our Barbie turns 40,
explore some possibilities for Mattel to think of to meet her new challenges.

Bifocals Barbie
Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames, too)! neck chain, and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.

Hot Flash Barbie
Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead! With handheld fan and tiny tissues.

Facial Hair Barbie
As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow! Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.

Cook's Arms Barbie
Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too: muumuus are back! Cellulite cream and loofah sponge optional.

Bunion Barbie
Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with this pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules. Colors: pink, rose, blush.

No More Wrinkles Barbie
Erase those pesky crow's feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.

Soccer Mom Barbie
All that experience as a cheerleader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. With minivan in robin's egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.

Who knows when Barbie will have outlived her usefulness? From Dream House to Nursing Home, the possibilities and accessories are endless. Can we look forward to a Social Security Barbie who comes dressed in double-knit stretch pants, oversize sweatshirt, athletic shoes, with Barbie-size Depends and Ensure?

Name:

Frances

E-Mail:

leecofamily@ftc-i.net

Date: 1-20-99

One day for circle time, I had three children stand in the middle of the circle. We had been talking about things that make us alike or different. Two of the children had on short while the third child had on long pants. I asked the class to look closely at the three children and tell me what made two alike and one of them different. After a long time, one little girl yelled out, "I know, I know! Joe and Mary are wearing short-sleeve pants!"

Name:

Pat

E-Mail:

PWheeler@directlyncs.com

Date: 1-20-99

I was in the three year old room at work the other night (second-shift) and was speaking with a couple of the children about whether or not we could play the computer for a few more minutes before bedtime. "I don't know if we'll have time to play the computer again, Ms Cassie isn't the greatest at getting pajamas done" One of the little boys (who had been ignoring us) piped up and said, "But, Ms. Cassie, You are the greatest!" Isn't that sweet!

In that same room a few months earlier, I had come in from break. A little boy ran up to me and said, "Ms. Cassie, I Stwessed!" I said, "You're Stressed? What have y'all been doing while I was gone?" " We been in

12-15-98

:::::::::Giggling::::::::: I threatened my husband I was going to do one of the following if he preaches a boring sermon. This was sent to me by a girl who used to be in my husband's youth group almost 13 years ago! Have fun!!! Daylene

Fun Things To Do During Boring Sermons

Pass a note to the organist asking whether he/she plays requests.

See if a yawn really is contagious.

Slap your neighbor. See if they turn the other cheek. If not, raise your
hand and tell the preacher.

Devise ways of climbing into the balcony without using the stairs.

Listen for your preacher to use a word beginning with 'A' then 'B' and
so on through the alphabet.

Sit in the back row and roll a handful of marbles under the pews ahead
of you. After the service, credit yourself with 10 points for every
marble that made it to the front.

Using church bulletins or visitor cards for raw materials, design, test
and modify a collection of paper airplanes.

Start from the back of the church and try to crawl all the way to the
front, under the pews, without being noticed.

Raise your hand and ask for permission to go to the rest room.

Whip out a hankie and blow your nose. Vary the pressure exerted on your
nostrils and trumpet out a rendition of your favorite hymn.

Chew gum; if the sermon goes on for more than 15 minutes, start blowing
bubbles.

Try to indicate to the minister that his fly is undone.

By unobtrusively drawing your arms up into your sleeves, turn your shirt
around backwards.

Try to raise one eyebrow.

Crack your knuckles.

Twiddle your thumbs.

Twiddle your neighbor's thumbs.

Wiggle your ears so that the people behind you will notice.

Name:

Diana

Email:

USAFLadyDi@aol.com

Date: 12-6-98

As I welcome the children to school each day, I try to have a short conversation with each one. This particular day, a little boy told me he'd seen something on the news about a lady who had 7 babies. I said, "She had seven babies all at the same time?" He said, "No! One and then one and then one and then one...

Name:

Sandi

Email:

adams@gibralter.net

Date: 12-6-98

In November we did handprint turkeys and one little boy kept calling it a chicken. Now that it is Christmas time we are using our handprint to make a Christmas tree. When he saw what we were doing, he said , "oh, I get to make another turkey". His mother said he was constantly correcting them when they said something about his turkey, told them it was a chicken. He had a dinosaur on his shirt and kept saying it was a dog. At the end of the day it said it was a dinosaur dog.

area

I guess this should be posted in the poetry/prose area...I noticed another "handprint poem" posted there... The lines I am submitting today are printed on the back of my own handprint plaque made in Dec. of 1965 when I was in kindergarten.

11-21-98 Name: Fran E-mail: atchr@aol.com

LITTLE TEDDY STODDARD Author: Unknown

There is a story many years ago of an elementary teacher. Her name was Mrs.Thompson. And as she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children a lie. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. But that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard. Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he didn't play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. And Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers. At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise. Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners...he is a joy to be around." His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle." His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best but his father doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken." Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and sometimes sleeps in class." By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present which was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say,"Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to." After the children left she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, and writing, and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children.

Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one her "teacher's pets." A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had in his whole life. Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer -- the letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, M.D. The story doesn't end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he'd met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit in the place at the wedding that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. And she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together. They hugged each, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference." Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said,"Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."

Name:

Joelle

Email:

ScoJo46@msn.com

Date: 11-21-98

One morning I was sitting in the block area building houses with my little guys. I was listening to them banter back and forth and every so often I would put my two cents in. I must have said something profoundly interesting to one little guy because he looked up at me and said "Teacher, I have a ring and flowers for you!" I said "Really? Does that mean we're engaged?" He replied "Yep, we're engaged, You're my girlfriend" In turn I replied, "Well what about my husband?" He said "It's okay, he'll understand!" Needless to say, this was one of the brightest highlights of my teaching career~ Gotta love those kids!

Name:

Jodi

Email:

jrupnow@wggators.com

Date: 11-19-98

One day one of my 4 year olds came into class with his left shoe on his right foot and his right shoe on his left foot. I said, "Hey Spencer, your shoes are on the wrong feet." After looking down and checking out his shoes, he quickly replied, "No, they're MY feet."

Name:

Daylene

Email:

aactchrday@aol.com

Date: 11-19-98

The other day I was at the grocery store. They were having a sale on Coke products. Being the Diet Coke drinker that I am, I decided to stock up and bought 20 two liter bottles. While I was standing in the check-out line, a little girl who could not have been more than four-years-old looked at me and said "Mommy, that lady has too much soda! If she drinks all that, she is going to turn into a big Diet Coke monster!" We all busted up laughing! The amazing part is that she knew it was Diet Coke!

Name:

ginny

Email:

Msginnyedu@aol.com

Date: 11-7-98

One of my little girls in the "potty training" group was called to go sit on the potty by my Assistant. After a couple of minutes, my Assistant heard, "Excuse me, EXCUSE me, EXCUSE ME", "Yes", said the Assistant, "What is it you want to say?" And the little girl answered, "Why am I here?" "Why, to P---P---", said the Assistant. "Oh", said the little girl, and she did. FIRST TIME!

11-2-98

Adam's Suit
Author: Unknown

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination,
he looked at the old pages as he turned them. Then something
fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it closely. It
was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between
pages.

"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.

"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.

With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered:
"It's Adam's suit!!!!!"

Name:

linda

Email:

lindfar@aol.com

Date: 11-1-98

On Columbus Day we talked about Christopher Columbus with the children. The next week, Christopher, the brother of one of the students in another class was visiting. When a little 3 year old in our class heard one of the other children call him Christopher, he ran his chubby little legs up the hill as fast as he could. When he got to us he was out of breath and very excited. He said "He's here! He's here!" We said "Who's here?" "Christopher! Christopher Columbus is HERE!"

Name:

kiddieup

Email:

Date: 10-28-98

The other day my "kiddliewinks" were beginning their morning stampede to the playground after circle time.

In their zeal to escape to their natural habitat (hanging upside down from bars like little monkeys) one of them stepped on the hem of a little girl's dress.

When the hem was stepped on it pulled the front buttons (shaped like hearts) a bit too tight and one of them popped off.

The tiny angel, caught in the dust of the stampede, came to me with tears welling in her eyes.

"What happened, Sweetie? You look terribly sad," I said.

Pushing out her quivering lower lip as far as possible she said, "I am, Teacher." She then held out a tiny fist and opened it to show me the shiny red button from her dress. "Oh no!" I said, "What happened?"

With a sigh of complete innocence and youth she said simply, "Teacher, I broke my heart."

10-25-98

Name

Kellye

Email:

kellye@nts-online.net

Well, one day this week, little 4-year old Michael told me the following: (out of the blue) "I told my mother that I still cannot see and I still don't have any glasses!" I asked why he needed glasses and again he said "I told you I cannot see berry good." I then asked him why he couldn't see very good and he replied "because I have had an ear confection!" I laughed and he looked at me wondering what was so funny. I am writing all this down in a book for Michael's mother at the end of his preschool year.

10-22-98

Name: Teresa
E-Mail: phillips@integrityonline18.com

During Vacation Bible School, we had 65 4 & 5 year olds. To ease identification, we broke them into four groups: Dolphins, Lil' Whales, Starfish, & Angelfish. Each child had a nametag in the shape of their "fish" with their name on it. I was very amused when one beautiful little sweetie came running up to me, in tears, crying, "I, I've lost my nametag. But, But, my name is still Mikayla!"

10-21-98

Name: Amy
E-Mail: ghammer@xmission.com

The other day, a little girl in one of my classes was telling me something she had done. (I don't remember what.) So, I asked her "Are you serious?" She looked at me and said in a puzzled voice, "No, I'm Catholic."

10-15-98

Name: Leslie
E-Mail: girlwonder@rocketmail.com

On the last day of pre-school I explained to the children that when they start school back up in the fall, they would be going to school for the entire day. (Extended Day Kindergarten) One of the little boys in my class looked up at me and very seriously said, "Who the hell signed me up for this?"

10-14-98

Name: Malia
E-Mail: malia_patton@hotmail.com

ALL GOOD THINGS

He was in the first third grade class I taught at Saint Mary's School in Morris, Minn. All 34 of my students were dear to me, but Mark Eklund was one in a million. Very neat in appearance, but had that happy-to-be-alive attitude that made even his occasional mischievousness

THE END

10-6-98

Name: Kellye
E-Mail: kellye@nts-online.net

I have a little 4 year old in my preschool class and he is terrible about always saying "I need to go pee!" Another teacher told him the other day to please say "May I go use the restroom?" Yesterday, the little boy comes up and says, "May I go to that restaurant?" Pretty cute huh? We had to laugh.

10-6-98

Name: Silvyr
E-Mail: silvyr__@hotmail.com

I asked my pre-schoolers if they knew what season it was. When no one responded, I thought to give them a clue. "There are 4 seasons." I intoned. "Winter, Spring, Summer and..." Before I could go on, one little boy jumped to his feet in excitement. "I know!" he exclaimed. "Hunting season!" Can you tell we live in Montana? *smiles warmly*

10-4-98

Name: Pamela
E-Mail: pamela.bell@thegrid.net

My 3 year old niece set her juice box next to my mother on the table. My mom said "Honey, would you like Grandma to watch that for you?". My niece simply replied "No, Grandma I don't think its going to do anything".

9-28-98

Name: Jennifer
E-Mail: Thespis6@aol.com

The other day one of my kids spilled applesauce on his shirt and shorts during lunch, so after lunch he went to get changed. My co-teacher was having problems getting him to put clothes on because he had to borrow clothes from our "Borrow Bin" because she did not have any extra clothes in his cubby. I walked into out coatroom where he was standing naked except for his underwear.I told him that we all needed to wear clothes in the classroom and that I understood how he didn't want to put "borrowed" clothes on, but it wasn't a choice. He replied to me,"Well, I was watching this movie once, George of the Jungle and he didn't wear any clothes except for something that looked like underwear with a butt flap." I quickly covered my mouth, knowing that a big smile had just formed on my face, and that I couldn't let that smile turn into a laugh! I asked him where George lived and he told me the jungle. I then asked him if we lived in the jungle.He, of course, said no and then asked me if the reason that George didn't wear any clothes was because it was warm in the jungle. I said yes- that's exactly right! And he proceeded to get dressed without further question! I thought that it was so cute! =0)

9-27-98

Name: Jackie
E-Mail: ChipNDip@Fiam.net

Working in a preschool, you never know what the children are going to say next! One day at Circle time, the children noticed a broken toy on my chair. The children all said that we had to throw the toy away. One child replied, "no we don't have to throw it away, we can use "SQUASH TAPE" to fix it!

9-2-98

Name: mindi

E-Mail: bjorne@msn.com

We have a playhouse in our classroom. The other day we were pretending that it was the white house, we

8-18-98

Name: Jennifer

E-Mail: JKlessens@aol.com

I am actually a primary school teacher but thought some might enjoy these true stories. A few years ago my class loved to sing Raffi's "Day-O" song. They just loved the chorus. One day just before going home we had a few minutes to spare so I asked if anyone had a request for a song. In all the seriousness a first grader can muster one little girl raised her hand and said she wanted to sing the "dago" song. I had to gently correct her and tell her the song was called "Day-O", not "dago"! Another time I was chatting with another teacher just before she had to go out on the playground for yard duty. When she announced that she needed to go out for yard duty a first grader who heard this asked me if I also had to go out on "guard" duty. We both laughed about this for days!

7-30-98

Name: Carol

E-Mail: Cann16@aol.com

Most of the neighborhood children around my home know my class has a pet bunny. The other day when I was coming home from school one of the children said "Hi, where is Sleepy"? I told him the bunny was at school. He thought for a minute and then said "At school"? I replied yes. He then looked at me with the biggest brown eyes I have ever seen and said "Oh, are there other rabbits there too"? I could not stop laughing. I needed a good laugh that day too!!!!

7-22-98

Name: Angie

E-Mail: bonthuis@ames.net

A couple of years ago, I taught public school preschool, but because of limited space, my program was housed in a church near the elementary building. One day, I noticed the minister of the church walk by my classroom door. He smiled at me, and waved at Ronnie, a little boy I was working with. Ronnie watched him walk by, and then said to me (with a solemn look on his face), "Teacher, God just waved at me!"

7-20-98

Name: Jeanette

E-Mail: salman@ncc.moc.kw

One early morning I was speaking to a friend in the pre-school playground. I told her I had to go because I had early morning duty. She said she also had duty. As she started to walk away her four year old daughter

7-17-98

Name: Teri

E-Mail: Prektchr1@aol.com

First i want to say how much i love all these poems and prose sent in by others and i finally have one worthy of this site...LOL

A little boy was sitting at the table and drinking a juice when all of a sudden he gave a deep loud

7-17-98

Name: patsy

E-Mail: wowpatse@aol.com

My husband travels quite frequently. My two daughters were discussing what town he was in one afternoon. One daughter said "Tampa", but my youngest daughter corrected her and said "No he's not, he's in his Ami (Miami). She was right, especially if it had been a language (tenses) question!

7-17-98

Name: Lynnet

E-Mail: drburney@freeway.net

4-year old Logan was talking about going fishing. He asked me, "Mrs. Burney, have you ever gone fishing?" "Oh, yes", I replied, "I used to go fishing a lot when I was a little girl." Logan's eyes popped open. "You were a little girl???" "Yes I was - a long time ago!" I told him. With wide-eyed amazement, he asked, "When the dinosaurs lived on the earth???" ;-|

7-17-98

Name: Lynnet

E-Mail: drburney@freeway.net

The other day my youngest daughter was talking with her little friend in the car. They were having a discussion about heaven, and Jesus' second coming. My daughter told her friend, "When Jesus comes back, we're going to get on a cloud with him, and he'll take us up to heaven on the cloud. But be careful when the cloud stops and you step off into heaven. There might be a space between the cloud and the floor, and you sure don't want to fall!!!"

7-4-98

Name: Barb

E-Mail: MiLady956

Two funny preschool happenings.....The other day a 4yr old boy was playing with the magnetic fishing pole when he broke the dowel rod. He hid the pole, but one of his buddies brought it to me and told me what had happened. I told the boys I knew it was an accident, and to please tell me when these things happened so I could try to fix it if possible. The little boy who broke the rod looked at me and said" just let me take it Barb, I gots duct tape at my house".

Another incident... the girls were into having braids in their hair. One of our aids was helping make everyone look like Pippi Longstocking. Two of the girls were done and telling everyone they were twins. When the third little girl's hair was finished they proudly announced they were now "giblets".

6-30-98

Name: Diane

E-Mail: DiHarness@aol.com

This spring, my K class was working on a Science unit "Living Things". We had just finished the A to Z Vegetable Book. I explained that the children may not have heard of several of the vegetables, Z being one of them, but perhaps they had heard of another Z veggie,

6-30-98

Name: Tina

E-Mail: mference@cts.com

During the three year old supervised restroom hour, a little girl named Hunter was washing her

6-30-98

This was taken off the ECENET Listserv :) Daylene

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher.

The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers!"

"That's right!" shouted the little boy.

Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift.

She held it up, shook it and said. "I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy!"

"That's right!" shouted the little girl.

The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked.

"No," the boy answered.

The teacher touched another drop to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked.

"No," the boy answered.

Finally, the teacher said, "I give up. What is it?"

The boy replied, "A puppy!"

6-24-98

Name: Dawn

E-Mail: morninglight97@hotmail.com

Working with preschoolers in Downtown DC is always interesting. Since we play at a park next to the White House, the children are used to seeing lots of "parades" of cars of diplomats, etc. Today we had the rare opportunity of seeing the President drive by- right by us with Mrs. Clinton. One three year old girl asked me who the lady was. I said that she was the President's wife, and she wanted to know her name. I said Hilary, and she looked puzzled. Then she laughed and said very knowingly that she saw the President on TV with a woman with another name. She said she forgot the "funny name" of the lady, but down the block realized it and shouted out Monica Bibenski. When I repeated it, laughing, she corrected me by saying, "Miss Dawn, her name is Monica VIVENski!!" There's a child who watches the news!!!

6-17-98

Daylene

The "Grown-up" Version Of Row-Row-Row Your Boat

Propel, Propel, Propel Your Vessel

Gently Down The Liquid Solution

Exotic, Exotic, Exotic, Exotic

Life Is But An Illusion

6-16-98

Name: Cindy

E-Mail: heck@caves.net

One day in the latter half of the year, I was taking attendance. When I do this, I always try and think of different things the kids can be involved in...rather than just saying "here". I asked the children to tell me their first and last names. They continued to tell me...then one little boy said.."Mrs. Heck, what is your first name?" Before I could answer, he said, "Wait a minute...(and I could see the wheels a turning) I know...Your first name is... Oh....."Oh Heck" (I happen to have that name on my license plates!!!) here!

6-6-98

Yah, yah, I know :) This has nothing to do with preschool or teachers. However, I am sure that many of you who use your computer

Remember when........

A Computer was something on TV from a science fiction show

A window was something you hated to clean

And ram was the cousin of a goat

Meg was the name of your girlfriend

And gig was your band playing one night

Now they all mean different things

And that really mega bytes

An application was for employment

A program was a TV show

A cursor used profanity

A keyboard was a piano

Memory was something that you lost with age

A CD was a bank account

Compress was something you did to the garbage

Not something you did to a file

And if you unzipped anything in public

You'd be in jail for a while

Log on was adding wood to the fire

Hard drive was a long trip on the road

A mouse pad was where a mouse lived

And a backup happened to your commode

Cut you did with a pocket knife

Paste you did with glue

A web was a spider's home

And a virus was the flu

I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper

And the memory in my head

I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash

But when it happens they wish they were dead

5-13-98

Daylene

Ok, ok....... I know that this has nothing to do with preschool humor, but I got a giggle out of it. Hope you do too!

Things To Ponder

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station...

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge it with battery?

I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

How come you never hear about gruntled employees?

If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what, exactly, is a fog horn made out of?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in the bathroom.

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?

If the universe is everything, and scientists say the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?

Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

5-1-98

Name: Sandra

E-Mail: adams@gibralter.net

One of the little boys in my class told me his grandfather was in heaven. After talking with his mother, I found out that grandpa lives in Florida. For some reason he thinks heaven and Florida are the same place. The boy will be moving to South Carolina this summer and asked his mother if his new house would be closer to heaven.

4-28-98

Name: Donna

E-Mail: dlwig@bellsouth.net

Recently, I told my children that we were going to make corsages for our mothers for part of their Mother's Day gift. "What is a corsage?" asked one child. "I know said another. That is when someone rubs your neck or back! (aka massage)" I thought that this was too good to keep to myself!

4-25-98

Name: Barbara

E-Mail: jh071251

When my niece was about to start school, K-4, I asked her one day what grade she was going to be in. She innocently replied, "I'll be in the 4th cage."!!!

4-25-98

Name: Mary

E-Mail: superkt@webtv.net

After taking my kindergarten class to the farm for a day, we were discussing the room full of rabbits. There had to be at least 20 of all different kinds. The children had put carrots in their cages and petted them. They loved those rabbits. On the accompanying info sheet the farmer had put the question: What's under the rabbit cages ? So I asked the children. There was a LONG pause and I had almost given up hope... I saw them looking at each other. A quiet voice with much conviction piped up, " DUST BUNNIES ! " Every child nodded and cracked up. There followed an animated discussion on dust bunnies. It taught me to always have patience, cause MAGIC happens.

4-22-98

Name: Stacey

E-Mail: lmelling@epix.net

Some of my four year olds were playing on the slide and pretending that they were falling into a volcano. One boy "cried" for help, saying he was falling in the lava. Devon- a girl he was playing with- yelled, "Help! Connor's falling in love!"

4-20-98

Name: becky

E-Mail: moonchild869@hotmail.com

One afternoon I found a box of crayola crayons in the desk drawer called "Multi-cultural crayons". Justin, a naturally curious little boy asked me what they were for. I told him simply "for coloring in different colored skin on the people in your picture." He studied the box for a moment and with the wonderful innocence of a five year old, he looked at me and

4-19-98

Name: Elaine

E-Mail: MissElanie

I was setting the stage at

3-29-98

Name: Tammy E-Mail: lg55130@navix.net

I recently took a 4 year-old boy to the bathroom (in our building, the bathrooms are far from our room). It was first thing in the morning and he exclaimed, "I forgot my ornament!".

I asked him to repeat what he said. "I forgot my ornament", he replied. "You know, what you put under your armpits!" Of course he meant deodorant, and I told him I thought he'd be okay one day without. :-)

3-26-98

Daylene

When my daughter was 4 years old, our family visited Washington, DC. After we got off the plane, we caught a taxi to take us to our hotel. During our drive, the taxi driver began to point out different areas of historical interest. Suddenly, we came up to a large, gloomy looking building that sort of looked like a gothic castle. The taxi driver asked us, "What do you think is inside that building?" My daughter piped up and said "Oooooh, that's where monsters live!!!" The cab driver had to pull over because he began to laugh so much. It turns out that the "building where the monsters lived" was the IRS building!

3-17-98

Name: Andrea E-Mail: smccaig@bouldernews.infi.net

My favorite 5 year old, Madison, caught me having a great time on the swings one day and pulled me aside and said I did a good job of being a kid. I said to her, "Madison, now you tell me why you think I do a good job." She said, "Ms. Andrea, you laugh alot, you like to run and sometimes you fall down. I saw you hit your head once and you cried. You sing a whole lot and boy can you swing high and you're not even afraid to jump off. Sometimes it's okay to be afraid to jump off you know. I just think you already know how to be a kid and I love you." I cried and gave that sweet girl a hug. I have moved on from that school and she's now in Kindergarten but I will never forget her encouragement and I will always try to be kid thanks to Madison.

3-13-98

Just For Fun------Enjoy!!!

Daylene

The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog." uses every letter in the alphabet. (developed by Western Union to test telex/twx communications)

In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

In the 1940s, the FCC assigned television's Channel 1 to mobile Services (two-way radios in taxicabs, for instance) but did not re-number the other channel assignments. That is why your TV set has channels 2 and up, but no channel 1.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.

Hang On Sloopy is the official rock song of Ohio.

Did you know that there are coffee flavored PEZ?

The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the "American Pie." (Thus the name of the Don McLean song.)

When opossums are playing 'possum, they are not "playing." They actually pass out from sheer terror.

The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades - King David, Clubs - Alexander the Great, Hearts Charlemagne, and Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them used to burn their houses down - hence the expression "to get fired."

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

The term "the whole 9 yards" came from WWII fighter pilots in the Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got "the whole 9 yards."

Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.

The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

An ostrich's eye is bigger that it's brain.

The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.

The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

David Prowse was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in Star Wars. He spoke all of Vader's lines, and didn't know that he was going to be dubbed over by James Earl Jones until he saw the screening of the movie.

The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the "General Purpose" vehicle, G.P.

The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.

The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

Cat's urine glows under a

The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.

Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected

If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

No NFL team which plays its home games in a domed stadium has ever won a

The first toilet ever seen on television was on "Leave It To Beaver".

The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League All-Star Game.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."

In Cleveland, Ohio, it's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.

It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs.

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married. (Quaint isn't it!!!!!!!)

There are an average of 178 sesame seeds on a McDonald's Big Mac bun.

The world's termites outweigh the world's humans 10 to 1.

Pound for pound, hamburgers cost more than new cars.

The 3 most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

When Heinz ketchup leaves the bottle, it travels at a rate of 25 miles per year.

It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.

The Bible has been translated into Klingon.

Humans are the only primates that don't have pigment in the palms of their hands.

Ten percent of the Russian government's income comes from the sale of vodka.

Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.

On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.

In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.

Reno, Nevada is west of Los Angeles, California.

Average age of top GM executives in 1994: 49.8 years. Average age of the Rolling Stones: 50.6.

Elephants can't jump. Every other mammal can.

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

Five Jell-O flavors that flopped: celery, coffee, cola, apple, and chocolate. (GASP)

3-11-98

Name: Teri E-Mail: PREKTCHR1@AOL.COM

This happened today...we played the titanic soundtrack at rest time...and if you

3-6-98

Name: Susan E-Mail: mpacilio@adelphia.net

I had a teddy bear week at my school where I asked each child to bring in his favorite teddy bear. We did several activities with our bears including singing the "Hokey Pokey." When we got to our "backside" and we sang,"put your bear bottom in, put your bear bottom out...", one of my students said, "Teacher, my mom said that I am not allowed to take my pants off." We all laughed when I explained that we did not mean "bare" bottom!

3-4-98

Name: Sharon E-Mail: srfsmf@swbell.net

A few year ago I had a mom call telling me how upset Eric had been when she put him to bed that evening. She asked me what we had talked about in our study of the human body. I told her that we had been exploring a model of the human heart and talked about how blood travels through our body and our heart. She started to laugh and explained that when they were about to say their prayers Eric was very upset because Jesus did not live in his heart any longer like we had learned. It seems that Jesus didn't live there anymore, just blood!

3-4-98

Name: Shannon E-Mail: gusamer@voicenet.com

Last week we celebrated Eric Carle and his "bug books." I had been trying all week to teach my children that bugs and insects were synonymous. On Wednesday we painted black bugs in the green grass. Our director walked in and asked the children why tey painted bugs to which one of my little girls replied "Because it's bug infection week." I turned away as I laughed....she was so proud that she remembered the big word.

3-4-98

Name: Susannah E-Mail: SMSatASU@aol.com

During February and March we have several tornado drills "just in case"(you never know what Arkansas weather will do!). After our first drill this year, I overheard one of my three-year old students telling her mother about our Tomato drill!

3-1-98

Name: Sally E-Mail: Spinny002@aol.com

You haven't lived until you've heard a 4 yr.old sing "HOT BLOODED" In the class next to mine I heard a boy tell his teacher he wanted to sing her that song.He sang it like this "Hot blooded...Chicken of the Sea...I got a fweever of 103"

2-24-98

Name: Daylene

Ok folks....... I know that this really has nothing to do with early childhood education, but I thought it might bring a smile to your faces :))))

The Obituary of Pop N. Fresh

Veteran

Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Aunt Jemima, Betty Crocker, The Hostess Twinkies and Skippy.

The grave side was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded".

Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes - conned by those who buttered him up. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions.

Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two children and another bun in the oven.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

2-23-98

Name: Carol E-Mail: Cann16@aol

I teach K's but also interact with the other classes. I saw a little girl from the 4's class at the store and she was all giggly telling mom that there is Ms. Carol. All through the store and on the way out to my car (I left the store the same time as they did) I could hear Olivia chanting: "Ms. Carol, Ms. Carol, Ms. Carol I love you." My smile was from ear to ear. No one in the store had to take a second guess at who Ms. Carol was.

The next day at school when she came in I began chanting: "Miss Olivia, Miss Olivia, Miss Olivia I love you."

Now it has become our special daily thing to do.

2-23-98

Name: Diane E-Mail: dss@csrlink.net

I read "Clifford, We Love You" by Norman Bridwell to my class. The first line reads, "Clifford was feeling down in the dumps." I asked the children what that means, feeling down in the dumps. One of the children answered. He has diarrhea.

2-19-98

Name: Sue E-Mail: clew@texasonline.net

Children always seem surprised when they see me somewhere other than at school. I suppose they think that I must live there. However, a little girl surprised me the other day when she asked if I lived with the other pre-school teacher!

2-16-98

Name: Kenda E-Mail: GraceCh1@aol.com

A few years ago as I was reviewing our Bible Verses with the class, I asked them to say the verse and where the verse was found (it's reference).

The

2-11-98

Name: Amy E-Mail: amycross@usa.net

I had a special needs child wake up from a nap and say "hey Ms. Amy I have a little buz and A BIG WOODIE"

He was talking about his new toy story toys but it was funny.

2-7-98

Name: Deanna E-Mail: 34nxkdv@cmuvm.csv.cmich.edu

While playing memory with one of my preschool students, I noticed that he continously got a "match", and the game had just started. In the meantime, I had left the table for a brief moment. I asked him if he had "peeked" while I was gone. He tried to tell me that he was a good guesser. I jokingly said, "No, I think you peeked"; To which he replied, "It's just a figamentation of your imagination."

2-7-98

Name: Deanna E-Mail: 34nxkdv@cmuvm.csv.cmich.edu

I was conducting a circle time with my preschoolers, when I asked the children to raise their hands if they had anything they would like to share. A three year old boy raised his hand, and when I called on him, he replied, "Um, um, um, my mommy says that I am a big butt in the pain!"

2-7-98

Name: Kristen E-Mail: Alyse3474@aol.com

One day a little boy in my

2-2-98

Name: Casi E-mail: KC028@aol.com

Author Unknown

ICE CREAM

Last week I took my children to a restaurant. My six-year-old son asked if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would thank you even more if Mom gets us Ice Cream for dessert. And liberty and justice for all! Amen!" Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for Ice Cream! Why, I never!" Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?" As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table. He winked at my son and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer." "Really?", my son asked. "Cross my heart", then in theatrical whisper he added (indicating to the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), "Too bad she never asks God for Ice Cream. A little Ice Cream is good for the soul sometimes."

Naturally, I bought my kid Ice Cream at the end of the meal. My son stared at his for a moment and then did something I will remember the rest of my life. He picked up his Sundae and without a word walked over and placed it in front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, "Here, this is for you. Ice Cream is good for the soul sometimes and my soul is good already!"

1-28-98

Name: Susannah E-Mail: SMSatASU@aol.com

I'm an ECE major at the local University and I work part time in a Learning Center (great experience). One day one of my students (they are 3 year olds) told me I was pretty. Of course I was flattered so I hugged the child and told her she was my "bestest" friend. That caused a little jealously among the other 15 students so know every day when I walk in my room I am greeted by a chorus of 16 little voices telling me that I'm pretty. I now have 16 "bestest" friends under the age of 4!

1-26-98

Name: Lynn E-Mail: lmraetz@csd.uwm.edu

While I was leading Music & Movement, one of my students came up to me and said his eye hurt. I took him to the side of our circle, looked at his eye and had another adult take him to the office. That night was Dad's Night and one of the Dad's mentioned that his son told him the strangest story at dinner that night. The son had told him "Dad, a terrible accident happened at school today! A boy's eyeball fell out! When asked if the paramedics were called, he replied "No, the teacher just popped it back in!" The Dad said his son was totally serious when he relayed this story. I guess I'll have to add that one to my credentials!

Name: Iris E-Mail: a9607789@unet.univie.ac.at From: Austria

A Funny Thing Happened In Class..........

Tamara´s mother speaks English sometimes with her children

at home and says "listen!", because she wants to tell

Tamara and her brother Christian something - Christian says:

" I know, what "listen" means, it means "horch mal"(=listen in German)!

Tamera says: "No,

in your ear! And if you put your finger in the ear, you

(Explanation: To make the children understand, what I´m trying to tell them in English, I use all kinds of gestures, if I say "listen" I move my hand to my ear...)

Name: Jennifer E-Mail: jenni@golden.net

The Bear's Story

The small boy's name is not important to the story. But he had a toy koala whose name was poetry. It was Fred-Paul-Bear-Whose-Nickname-is-Pierre. The boy said the name matter-of-factly whenever he was asked, and people

Free Year 'Round Themes, Tips, Resources and Learning Center Ideas For Parents and Educators of Young Children

A Miss Daylene Creation

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